FanStory.com - Amyby Maria Jose Garcia
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She shouldn't have...
Amy by Maria Jose Garcia

The first time I saw Alistair, I thought I could get lost in those blue eyes of his. Then I remembered getting lost wouldn't be such a good idea because my husband would come looking for me. Or so I hoped...

We travelled to and from work together every day and as the train ride was long, we had time to talk about all sorts of things. Soon, I started considering him my friend, but that didn't stop me from getting all flustered when his hand accidentally brushed mine.

After a couple of months, our conversations got more intimate. He told me he had had several affairs, even one with a student.

'I can't help myself. I'm in love with my wife, but she loves her job more than me.'

In hindsight, I find all his excuses ridiculous, but back then, when I was under his spell, I totally empathized. His wife was some kind of executive hotshot and she travelled all the time while he was a hands-on dad. That was another thing I loved about him.

We started flirting openly and our co-workers noticed. Some didn't say anything, others made jokes, but Julio, a Spanish guy I was also friends with, told me to be careful.

'You're too naive, Amy. He just wants to sleep with you. You have your husband and your kids, don't play with fire.'

'You don't know what you're talking about. He's a good guy. He gets me.'

Time went past and nothing much changed. At home, I was my usual self or so I thought. My husband, Ron, has always been one of those silent types, never sharing his feelings, so if he thought something was going on, he never said.

And then it was Christmas. You know what they say about Christmas parties. I had always thought the hooking up and the kissing only happened in films, but I found out otherwise.

I told Ron we were going dancing after the dinner and I would get back home late.

'Okay then,' he said kissing me on the cheek absent-mindedly. Sometimes I wished he showed some jealousy, some possessiveness, but he didn't have it in him.

At the restaurant, I sat next to Alistair. He looked at me approvingly, those piercing eyes resting on my shoulders like a caress.

'You look stunning,' he said.

I blushed. His words meant the world to me. Even though I know I'm not ugly, I'm quite low on self-confidence. I knew he was buttering me up, I knew what he wanted, but I didn't care.

Julio was right, I was too naive. A year earlier, if somebody had told me I was going to be unfaithful, I would have thought they were mad, but now I was ready to take the plunge.

The sad part is I believed I was in love and maybe I was... but I rather think it was just infatuation.

I drank too much during that dinner. I talked with my co-workers and we laughed. All in all, we had a great time. And then, I went to Alistair's home with him... His wife was traveling and his kids were staying with his mother-in-law.

What happened next was different from what I had with my husband. It was exciting because it was forbidden. The guilt I felt, that shred of guilt, didn't manage to dampen my excitement. But there were no fireworks... and as soon as it was over, Alistair suggested we should leave.

'We have to wake up early tomorrow and I bet you're missed at home.'

He was gentlemanly enough to drive me back to my husband. In the car, we were silent, as if something had been broken and could never be fixed.

'You know this was just a bit of fun,' he said.

'Of course,' I answered, grinning. It was a grin that hurt.

When I got into bed, Ron turned around to kiss me.

'Did you have a good time?'

'Yes.'

He seemed satisfied and, in a few seconds, he was snoring. Oh my God, how much I hated him just then! I wanted him to confront me, to shout at me. But he didn't.

The next few days were the worst in my life. I had never hidden anything from Ron before. We were best mates. I needed to tell him.

People say if you have an affair, you must enjoy the fun and never tell your spouse or you'll be hurting them. However, that's not who I am. I had to tell. So I did.

And there were shouts. He said he would never be able to trust me again. I cried and I begged. I don't know how much the children heard. For a few months, the atmosphere at home was nightmarish. And then one day we started smiling at each other again. Holding hands. It was like dating all over again.

Maybe you're thinking I don't deserve it, I think that myself most of the time, but I got a new chance, a new beginning.

They say marriages can't survive an affair, but we have proved them wrong.

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