Do I have to go to Christmas
With your fam-ly at their mobile home
Even though its double-wide
Has more smoke than fire inside
And, there ain’t no yard where I can roam.
Now, the turkeys and the fruitcakes
And all the nuts in your fam-ly tree
Get too deep in Christmas spirits
Yellin’ things I hate to hear-its
Just not fun - it’s a funny-farm to me.
Just tell ‘em I got a cold, tell ‘em I tore my pants or
Tell ‘em I ran off with Dancer and Prancer
Tell ‘em if the phone rings, I must be here to answer
You just go. You just go. Pleeeeease!
Honey, you know I love you, and I’d
Love to have a Christmas here with you
But, with all your fam-ly ties,
The loaded guns, the bloodshot eyes,
That Christmas is sure more than I can do!
Just tell ‘em I got a cold, tell ‘em I tore my pants or
Tell ‘em I ran off with Dancer and Prancer
Tell ‘em if the phone rings, I must be here to answer
You just go. You just go. Pleeeeease!
Do I have to go to Christmas
With your fam-ly at their mobile home
Even though its double-wide
Has more smoke than fire inside
And, there ain’t no yard where I can roam.
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Author Notes
We've all been there... Or, wished we hadn't!
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