I have loved you
with a love
to which you had no right.
Through the years,
I have turned any reproaches
—inward.
I have made myself,
who was innocent,
—nothing;
you, who were to blame,
—blameless.
I have sought your freindship,
your good opinion,
your forgiveness,
and I have lost myself.
All these years,
I have held your
recognition of me
to be of supreme importance;
the recognition of the wounded innocence
of my little-girl soul,
as insignificant.
I have said,
in the privacy of my heart,
again and again,
that it was unimportant,
it meant nothing ...
until I believed it,
- completely.
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Author Notes
Although a deeply personal and painful poem, writing it began a journey of claiming my own pain ... the first step in healing.
Thank you to my dear friend, Maggie, for the artwork.
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