Me wife wouldn't let me drive no car,
said I wasn't safe, couldn't stay away from the bar.
Couldn't manage that bike, too hard-just two wheels,
begged with the old gal, still no automobiles.
So's, I try to drive the lawnmower, but Good God above,
took me two days to get down to the pub.
Drove that old tractor to the edge of town,
there stood the sheriff makin', me turn round
So now I'm a tryin' to ride this here pig,
but he's slippry as a bald head with a too large wig.
Fell off-got so many bruises, I look like a plum,
got pains everywhere, but especially me bum.
So then doin' work out in the forty-acre field,
this canteen of water, no fun does it yield.
Imagin' a cold shot glass of amber-colored brandy,
tear runs down my face longin' for my sweet candy,
But one thing I learned that I never knew,
when ya work hard and go home after the day is thru,
a great meal is ready, wife even greets me with a kiss.
I spank her on the bottom and remember somethin' I miss.
She laughs and I chase her a bit round the room,
up the stairs and round the bed, knock over her loom.
Now, I know somethin' made me a smart chappie,
no drink, hard work, wife's glad, then everyone's happy.
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Author Notes
This is a "Picture This" entry, a friendly competition among a group of site writers to write a story about a specific pic. Please read others with this same pic to see all the different ideas! "Thru" is intentionally misspelled.
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