Unwavering Spirit... by Susanjohn |
Rushed to the Emergency room again! I hold my breath. Life is a challenge with a medically fragile child. Doctors rushing by her side. Nurses questioning me. My lovely baby girl again hooked up to machines. I look around the room. What is her blood pressure? Has her heart rate come down to a normal rhythm? Did she suffer an aortic tear? My mind flooded with the worst possible outcome. Will today be the day God wants my baby back? Helpless to do anything, but wait.. Wait for the test results. Did she have a heart attack? Wait for the meds to slow her heart rate. Wait for my baby to open her eyes. Sitting there, pleading once again with God, I realize my baby has just turned 16. It's just after midnight, and Lilly's 16th birthday. I think back to the day she was born. I think about all the hopes and dreams I had for her future. I remember the day of her diagnosis. Life changed forever. Life became a precious thing not to be taken for granted. I stopped cursing God. Today we will live. Hours pass and my baby girl is stable. No heart attack. No aortic tear. No aneurysm. She opens her eyes and reaches for my hand. I wish my baby girl, Happy Birthday! She says, " Mom I didn't die, I told God I was not ready." I dry my tears, and realize I find my strength in the mostly unlikely of places...my daughter's unwavering spirit.
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Susanjohn
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