If I Fell by michaelcahill The Story Behind The Song contest entry Would you promise to be true... |
It isn't her fault; I know that. It's me and what I've been through. I love her that is not in doubt. But, I loved Monica too. I loved her just like I love Laura. And I sound pathetic like I should be writing this for one of those sixties pop magazines, Teen Beat, or Hullabaloo. My picture could be there right beside David Cassidy's. Here's Mr. Heartthrob and here's Mr. Heartbroken. "Yeah, I thought it was forever dude. We were so groovy together. She was outasite, man. She dumped me for the drummer. Can you believe it, the drummer?" Sad thing is, it's true. I wouldn't use those words, but that's the gist of the story. I can't blame John. I told him with all my lead guitar player swag, "If you want her, take her. There's a thousand more where that came from." It never occured to me she would leave me for him. I couldn't believe she fell for him. That's how damn special I thought I was. Blade. No last name or mention of my real name, just Blade. Guitarist extraordinaire. Fool of the century. I put on a brave face and I'm sticking it out with the band. Hell, we're a great band. But, she is always there. She waves and says hello like nothing has ever passed between us. Christ, if only she could turn a little pink and act like the situation is even slightly awkward, but I guess it isn't to her. I guess I'm the ticket to meet the cool drummer of Magic Felix. Stupid chick! I formed this band! It's my damn band, he works for me. Well, I look at Laura and I try to convince myself I have a choice. I think to myself, Look, Laura, if I do this love thing again, how do I know that it isn't going to be Monica all over again? I ask myself the same thing. I don't know, that's the answer. But I know I love her, there's no choice there. And now, I see Monica looking at me out of the corner of her eye when she's with John. What? Where the hell is that coming from? Is it all some kind of game to her? It was never a game to me. I can't go back, I love Laura now. I don't know if Monica thought she was laying some jealousy trip on me or some other childish trap. It isn't going to work out for her if that was her plan. I care for Monica still; I don't want to see her hurt in spite of what she did to me. Well, that's the past and my terrifying future is ahead of me. I could just do what I do best, stay inside my little shell, and date the little girls that think I'm some kind of rock star. They don't know me. They all call me Blade and I doubt any of them know my name is Robert. Laura knows. She doesn't call me Blade except to tease me. I like that to tell you the truth. Blade is some crap I made up, a persona to front the band--a character who's larger than life. Blade doesn't fall in love and get his heart broken into a million pieces. Blade wouldn't be afraid to fall in love. Well, here she comes. This is it, I'm just gonna lay it out there for her. God, I'm scared to death. "Hey, Laura. I have something to tell you." "Me first, Robert. I'm so scared. But I have to tell you... or I have to ask you. God! I can't hold it in any longer. If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true…? "
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