How does spring affect a person like me?
I won’t give you one reason, I’ll do three
First, I hate blue skies and the blistering hot sun
Getting sun burned and peeling ain’t my idea of fun
I don’t like crowded parks or watching smelly flowers grow
Pleasant nature scenes upset me, if you really must know
But the worst thing that causes me all kinds of mental distress
Is knowing soon mom will force me into a sissy-ass summer dress
Do you get it now? Do you understand my reasons?
Or should I go into why I hate all the bloody seasons?
Signed: Mean Baby