Alone,
I walk
on dry sand and rock
littered with cactus and scruffy brush
in a vast desert
flooded by overripe sunshine
melting clothing into my skin
Clobbered
by life, lies and why's
I ran to prove...
.... what?
that I can walk through a desert alone?
stupid, that is
that I am worthy?
of what?
that I am someone?
I am no one
I've walked
for hours
hours are minutes, minutes are days
when you are alone with crazy thinking
Crazy
that must be it
delusional from the heat
blistered feet on fire
Is this even real?
or did I drop out of a dream
to land in some undeveloped, hot as hell
parking lot wannabe?
I squat
to scrawl my name in dusted pebbled soil
to leave my mark on earth
why God?
oh, God, why?
My life
is like syrup on my hands
and shit on my shoes
I leave a sticky mess
no matter what I do
Wandering (and wondering)
aimlessly
battling bruised and blistered skin
I stop to rest on a rock
that mocks
my heart, my head
Looking down
I find
the mark I left behind
but there was more
another name was scrawled beside my name
Jesus,
it said
He
alone
opened my eyes
softened my heart
and said
walk with me
and you will be saved
Wet tears
rolled
down my parched face
as I realized He is my Savior every day
not only in the end
No reason
to leave
a mark in life
Jesus
knows who and what I am
and where I stand
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Author Notes
I wrote this month's ago when I was going through some rough times. The walk in the desert is only metaphorically.
okay, folks - give me your opinion. A reviewer suggested that in the midst of despair would I really say "poop" as it was in the poem. He suggested "shit" and I guess I have to agree that poop wasn't strong enough. I just don't usually use that kind of language so it was hard for me to change it. What do think?
Thanks to montana_denny for the picture.
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