The fridge is far from frosty
and the toaster's on the fritz;
the mower's scattered round the yard
in countless shattered bits.
The kettle gives a deathly wail
then, whimpering, expires;
the stereo's demented
Like a dozen off-key choirs.
The washer's bumpy-thumping
like it wants to leave the room;
the heater's grown quite chilly
and the oven's met its doom.
The waste disposal ate four forks
then graunched before exploding;
there's a message on the microwave
that fills me with foreboding.
The telly's just gone belly-up
smack in the evening news;
the DVD needs TLC;
computer's blown a fuse.
My Bluetooth needs a dentist
and my Wi-Fi's disconnected;
my razor flicked its flexy tail
then died; how unexpected!
My iPad tells me I don't know
the year that I was born;
my smart phone's lost its smarts it seems;
my Kindle's reading porn.
My GPS has lost its way
and beggared off to Burma;
my Whipper-Snipper slipped and dipped,
then ate some terra firma
I'd like to post this poem on-line
so all the world can read it,
but the Internet's gone Poof! Kaput!
just when I really need it!
|