STRAW--STICKS--BRICKS & PLASTIC
Pig built a house, entirely straw
yet that would be his major flaw
The Big Bad Wolf just blew it down
so Piglet moved to Timbertown
To brother's house, the one of wood
it pissed on straw and so it should
He bunked with Spare Ribs for awhile
till Wolf appeared with ghoulish smile
One manky dose of maggot breath
soon huffed and puffed that house to death
Reduced to kindling on the ground
no trace of shelter to be found
Pork loins fled crumpled pile of sticks
to Big Ham's haven lined with bricks
But no respite in Wolf's attacks
that mofo blew through builders cracks
The shit-scared bros' would tremble, quake
once mortar split, the pork would shake
As howling wind ensued inside
the frightened snorters screeched and cried
"All shonky tradespigs should be shot
this house of stone, it ain't , it's not
Can't trust pink brickers, here's the proof
the frickin' walls won't hold the roof
and down bricks came
and that's the truth...
So...
Hogs hightailed in their shit-filled pants
the grotty trotters one last chance:
Their couzin Spek's mod new-age home:
a small clear moulded plastic dome...
It wasn't straw or bricks or twigs
but strong, safe house for homeless pigs
Arriving, wolf huffed through his beard
through intercom, the bacon jeered
"We just engaged in lock-down mode
the password's gone, we ate the code
Your puff can't penetrate this shield
our crackling's safe, we're vaccum sealed"
"You're packed like porkchops," Wolfie sneered
Your own pig-heads you should have feared
As they squealed "BLOW me, Wolf", he'd shout
"Well, NO air in, means NONE gets out!
* * * * *
A four-course meal he'd commandeered
as Slow-Cook-Pig-Spit-Roast appeared
His words lived on to be revered
Seems Wolfie was the one who cheered...
(C)
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