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FADE IN:
EXT: AFTER LIFE - MUSICAL MEADOWS MANOR
A petite woman wearing a gemstone-studded black dress
and stiletto heels enters a crystalline bedchamber. She
addresses her diminutive, portly husband who is attired
in a gray cashmere dressing gown trimmed with gold braid.
ANNA (approaches her husband with stealth
and taps him on the shoulder):
Johann, darling, I wonder if you might leave off
playing the harpsichord for a few moments.
I have something important to discuss with you.
JOHANN (turns sharply, upsetting his powdered wig):
Anna, my love, this is not a particularly good time.
The competition is fast approaching.
I need to get my contrapuntal hiney into gear if I'm
going to beat that blasted Beethoven.
I cannot bear another year of enduring his gloating
about how all the heavenly hosts voted for him.
ANNA (steps back and grins wickedly):
Liebchen, do you honestly think that a baroque version
of Stairway to Heaven will score you points?
It's a bit gauche, in my opinion, to think you can replicate
Jimmy Page's brilliance.
I hope you don't plan to sing the lyrics yourself?!
JOHANN (face turns red with indignation):
Of course not!
I've asked that lovely man, Luciano Pavarotti, to do
the singing.
It's amazing that we lived centuries apart and yet
have so much in common.
He's a fastidious dresser, much like myself,
with an uncommonly sophisticated knowledge
of music composition.
"Shatzi, why are you dressed like that?
Did I forget an engagment for this evening?"
ANNA (her eyebrows raise in annoyance):
No, dearest dumpling.
I'm meeting Eve and the gang for cocktails."
JOHANN (settles his wig back into its proper place):
Anna, you know how I feel about your associating with Eve.
That woman is trouble.
Gott in Heaven, I don't know why she was allowed
in here in the first place."
ANNA (takes a compact out of her purse and checks
her make-up):
I don't wish to argue with you about this, Johann.
Eve is a good listener and I enjoy her company.
After all those years of following you around Europe,
not to mention raising twenty children, I'm entitled to
go where and with whom I please."
JOHANN (opens his arms to embrace his wife):
Calm down, Knuddel. You know how upset I get
when we have cross words with each other.
Come here and let me show you how sorry I am.
ANNA (steps just out of his reach):
I don't have time for playing Spin the Schnitzal
just now, Johann.
I'm already late for my appointment.
Besides, I want you to hear the news from me first.
The Handel's are moving in next door."
JOHANN (sputtering and boxing the air with his fists):
How could this be allowed to happen.
I spoke with Saint Christopher, whose handling the
property, and he told me it was all but sold to a nice
young couple with a Vizsla.
ANNA (takes her husband's hand):
Darling, we'll have to make the best of this situation.
After all, no one can exceed your reputation.
JOHANN (pulls his hand away and groans):
That simpering, royal ass-kisser was always a thorn in my side.
Probably only got into heaven thanks to that over-rated oratorio,
Messiah.
ANNA (crosses the room and leans against the
harpsichord, running her hands seductively
along its surface):
I've heard rumors that Handel plans to enter the competition
and will be collaborating with a recent arrival...George something or other.
JOHANN (grabbing his wife's arm):
Think hard, Anna, this is very important.
Do you know what they're cooking up for the competition?
ANNA (eyes glistening with excitement):
"I do, Johann."
(pauses for effect)
Eve says its a stunning choral piece George made famous on the earth plane...
(taps her upper lip trying to recall its name)
Ah, yes, now I remember...catchy title... Here Comes the Son.
FADE OUT
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