I stood chided and challenged;
as I found a pen for my hands.
With deft conviction, I rearranged
from thought, to words that will land.
But what hell will await me?
Is this the right thing to do?
Committed to paper, my soul to see;
as a decree, the poem was thus issued.
I winced with every negative self-imposed thought,
however each time, I kept tripping over a feather.
Financially punished after airfare and reading bought;
for doing what I knew right, having to be the better.
I penned the truth for the love I had to hear,
but waxed over as her thoughts had shown me;
even with a free pass, she would not be there;
reading to others my poem that she never wanted to see.
I would have to do this alone, I knew,
a feather came to me with every lonely thought.
With that poem, bearing accolades only other people threw,
a dinner fleetingly enjoyed in a coy reversal wrought.
I worked as hard as I could, with ink and pen;
glad to once again be in company of friends.
With a smile I fell, the red carpet removed suddenly again;
while she enjoyed the show with me while I was in Hell's send.
Like down an iceberg sliding and nude,
stopping by only grabbing the exposed quill;
fearing to be wiped out by a person so rude,
a feather landed in my hand keeping my thoughts still.
Feathers then became, a faithful sign;
even when they weren't there, they floated down as friends;
so with faith and courage I remained resigned,
making poems that became other's feathery lends.
Just like the lessons, the gossamer floating feathers taught;
my words find those, who need the special touch they sought.
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Author Notes
A poem written with a free style.
Scanned and photoshopped image of feather by Micheal W. Kohlman; June, 2009.
Believe it or not, the feathers actually occurred as stated and are intermixed with the layers of poems and their notes all through me neglected house. I ended up considering them the bread crumbs along the writing trail. This is also the actual story of me finding FanStory.com and the reason that I remain and care for its many members. To be honest, last year was so crappy for me, I almost decided to give up writing and delete my portfolio. I found that with some that purport to want to expand poetry's role and exposure; there was also a hesitancy about allowing fellow enthusiasts on board. I felt like I was a suspected trespasser. Yes, a supposed friends can hurt one so much. Through this period, I didn't find any feathers to comfort me, but day by day I continued with even the smallest encouragement from a member here. Walking home from work one day, I had the thought, "Is the reason that I haven't been finding any feathers because I am supposed to think of my FanStory friends as feathers?" I looked down and there was a damned feather. With different aspects of my writing changing, bringing to mind both questions and hesitations; the feathers started appearing again. I now write, because no matter the outcome, reward or acknowledgment; I feel this is what I should do. Though at times that feeling is like being dragged alone like a bull with a nose ring. Sorry Alexander for using your image. Maybe I have to be a bull with rams horns.
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