When vigils don't end in miraculous cures
for those who have placed their trust in the Lord,
and lighting a candle can't always assure
what's been taken away will be restored,
if victories prayed for don't always arrive
no matter how ardent and faithful the prayer,
when sometimes our perils are not survived
and those who are innocent are not spared,
as small children starve and battles rage on
and peace with justice remains but a dream,
what motivates people to carry on
when the God they've invoked fails to intervene?
Is faith ever faith until put to the test
of finding a way when God's answer's not yes?
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Author Notes
When I was eight years old I stayed up late into the night my mother died, bargaining with God, praying He would restore her health and return her to me. When I learned she died the next day from the retired minister who lived next door to us, I had a defining moment in my life and understanding of God. I have never since prayed for a result. I pray for strength, for understanding, for those in pain to find a way to work through that pain, but I do not pray things will turn out the way I would prefer. For every person who has ever gone into spontaneous remission, there is one or more who have died. Good people, people who have prayed and whose innocent children have prayed. If I believe the recipient of a miracle has somehow been specially blessed or rewarded by God, what am I to think of the person who was taken? My faith in God never waivered when I lost my mother - I just learned that He works in ways other than making life go the way we ask Him.
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