Excellent 150 Words Emotional Paradox by Mark Jackson Flash Fiction contest entry Artwork by seshadri_sreenivasan at FanArtReview.com

When I was young, about ten, I used to hide under my bed, not because I was scared, but it made me feel like I didn’t exist. A warm comfortable numb feeling. Years later, I rationalised I did not want to die, I simply did not want to exist, never to have existed. I decided not to have children; I would not inflict life on another. My dad had always been distant, working late and busy when at home. He lost his job when I was seventeen: “Kick me when I’m down,” I overheard him say. I asked him about being young, listened to his stories. I told him my resolution never to procreate. “Neither would I,” he agreed, “if I had my time again.” I never felt closer. With a delayed emotional response, I realised that meant I wouldn’t exist. That most precious moment, imagining I had never been. Author Notes I am new to flash fiction, so took some advice from a website. 'Medium' recommended using a first-person point of view to help the reader better engage with the plot. At the same time, narration in the first person often requires less vocabulary than in other points of view. This is flash fiction about me, but an alternative me, in a universe touching our own.

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