“I came as fast as I could, Shirley. What’s up?”
“Not fast enough! Look in the fishbowl!”
“At the goldfish? Shirley, are you nuts? You get me to rush here from work,
and you want me to look at your fish? Shirley, think about this!
 You said you were lonely yesterday, so I bought you a goldfish, and you said you loved it.”  
“You didn't tell me you bought a girl goldfish, Stanley!”
“Jesus! I pointed, and told the guy, ‘I’ll take that fish.'
You want me to apologize because I didn’t have the foresight to check out its sex?
You didn't say you wanted a boy! What is wrong with you? It’s a friggin’ fish!"
“She was pregnant!, and you bought her, anyway!”
“It’s not a fat fish, so how would I know it was pregnant?
I bet you’re not feeding her enough. Where’s the fish food?"
“She’s not hungry now, Stanley. You came too late!"
“Look, I’m the main character in this scene, so tell me something I don’t know,
and it better be good! Why isn’t your fussy fish hungry now,
and why are you nagging that I came too late?"
“She had her babies, and she just ate the last one.”
“Oh.”