My Flaws
I fear my opponents have the advantage, with more flaws than I,
but if I focus on my freaky feet, it might be worth a try.
They have embarrassed me socially where feet are unshod.
I was taught it was genes, and not to blame them on God.
Growing up as "Big Foot" was embarrassing enough,
but, they saw I was clumsy, so my teen years were rough.
With the biggest feet in the gym, the word spread throughout school,
and when the girls begged to inspect them, I tried to act cool.
I dared to deftly divert their attention to my outsized ears,
and the gorgeous-est girl giggled so hard, she couldn't hold her tears.

So, though I was sure that my ears would end the Big Foot issue, 
there loomed the obvious fact that those ears were always in view.

"Elephant Boy" was hardly an upgrade;
I'd run out of parts for them to upbraid. 

Now I'm in my older years, and completely comfortable with my peers,
and now and then, a kid from the past appears, with, "Hi there, Elephant Ears."
It doesn't faze me at all; I smile and say, "Hi, old friend, how ya doin"?
Half a century ago, I think his remark would have had me stewin.' 

(Please take note - If you want to get my goat, you can pick on my belly,
you can pick on my hair, you can pick on anything, 'cause I don't care.)
(Unless you chose to pick my nose.)