A friend of mine got braces--she is in her "middle" years.
I couldn't help but wonder why, some orthodontal fears?
Or is she trying to impress? If so, I wonder who?
Or it could be her bite is off and it is hard to chew.

They make her upper lip stick out and often make her lisp
Which for a lawyer isn't good; her words, once clear and crisp,
Now slur and then, on top of that, as if that weren't enough,
They create more saliva, which makes "lawyer-talking" tough!

Her braces are a menace. They are ruining her defense.
And if the prosecutor smirks, she loses common sense.
Her temper gets the best of her; she says...some things, unwise,
And, therefore, as by rights she should, Her Honor does chastise.

My friend said, "Please, Your Honor, I remind my learn-ed friend
That I have shystemtically reviewed, from end to end,
This case, and I can prove without a shadow of a doubt
That he'sh a dolt and doeshn't know what he'sh talking about.

"You're fining me, Your Honor? I retract my words, oh, pleash
I whole-heartedly apologize. I'm down on bended kneesh.
My braces will come off, doc says, in just a little while...
I'll be my glib, but proper shelf again... wash that a shmile?