General Script posted January 16, 2018

Chapters:

...22 23 -24- 25...

Exceptional

Pons and Ned meet at a customer service center at Kmart

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at a Kmart

by Bill Schott

Standing in line at the front of the store. Ned: Hey, Cuz! Pons: Oh, Hi, Ned. Ned: Funny meetin' you here. I figured you more for a Target or Walmart consumpter. Pons: You mean consumer. Ned: Yeh, we don't use them fancy names fer us elves here at Kmart, Pons. Pons: Us selves? Ned: No, no-- ha ha -- we ain't no elves, Pons. Pons: What? Ned: We're just reg'lar folk, Pons. You do know what the big K stands fer doncha? Pons: The parent company, Kresge. Ned: Nah. It stands fer kin. We're a big ol' brotherhood here at Kin mart, Pons. Pons: Okay, Ned. Ned: What brings ya to Kin mart today, Pons? Pons: Well, this is funny. I received a Kmart gift card in a birthday card from you, Ned. Ned: Well, I'll be! I remember that. I re-gifted that card. Pons: That's okay, Ned. Do you remember how much is on it? Ned: That there's a poser, Pons. Let's see, it had a hundert on it when I got it from yer maw. Pons: Huh? Ned: I first off got a kurt a oil fer my hog. Pons: You own a Harley? Ned: His name is Proffezzer Porkenbeans, Pons. And ya cain't own a pig anymore en ya can a cat. Pons: Okay, Ned. So you bought oil with my - er - the card? Ned: Yep! The Proffezzer likes gettin' slicked up fer the ladies. Pons: Yeh, okay - yeh. You purchased oil and --. Ned: I'm recollectin' buyin' some cabbages. Pons: Cabbages? Ned: Oh yeh, Pons. I make and jar up my own cole slaw, sauerkraut, and cabbage soup. I buy them suckers right off the truck in the back a this here store. Pons: You paid for those with this card? Ned: Nah, 'course not. Them fellers just deal in casherino. Pons: What about the card, Ned? Ned: Well, as I remember, I zipped through that card all in one visit. Bought some raw water, a bunch a Green Lannert t-shirts and under pants, a case of Big K imitation wine, and deodorant fer them days atween dips in the bath tub. Pons: You emptied the card? What the hell is raw water? Ned: It's the IN thin' ta do now, Pons. You get a bunch a empty water bottles and fill ’em back up from a rain barrel or mud puddle. Then folks pay big bucks ta drink this natural stuff. Pons: You pay for-- never mind, So what's on the card now? Ned: She's cleared, Pons. You can put how ever much you want on 'er. Pons: Thanks, Ned. Ned: Welcome to Kin mart, Pons. Write A Review Recognized Image from Google Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.