Scrooge Today

Oh, give me a home where I'm left alone,
When Christmastime overtakes the land
Where a man can plan a Christmas-less stand,
And not hear that lame "Jingle Bells" play.

(Mixed Chorus) 

Please, give me a break
from a season of feverish din,
When seldom is heard an un-seasonal word,
And I won't feel this funk I am in.

[Apologies to):

"Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam, 
Where the deer and the antelope play, 
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, 
And the skies are not cloudy all day."

(Chorus) 

"Home, home on the range, 
Where the deer and the antelope play, 
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, 
And the skies are not cloudy all day."