Fantasy Fiction posted November 27, 2017

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A clash of civilizations.

Golden E. Locksley

by alice schellhorn magrane

Flying down the Pacific Coast Highway, Golden Evelyn Locksley, or Goldie as she was known, thrilled as her new Ferrari F12 Berlinetta took the hairpin curves as she approached Big Sur. It was a glorious day, sunny and cloudless, with the Pacific's mesmerizing vistas spread out below. The vehicle's raw power excited her. Suddenly the powerful beast struck a large rock and Goldie barely managed to keep the car from flipping as she brought it to a halt in a ditch near some woods.

"I'll just call Brett," she thought, grabbing her cell, "he'll rescue me in no time." But the call went to voice mail. "OMG, I wish I'd joined Triple A. Guess I'll just walk a ways to see if anyone's around to give me a lift."

Walking was difficult in her Jimmy Choos and pencil skirt, but Goldie minced along the roadway, hoping a kind stranger would stop or she'd find a 7-11. The temperature rose and she became hungry, thirsty and tired. "Damn," she thought, "I shouldn't have let Brett talk me into buying that sportscar--$325,000 and so unreliable."

Those thoughts vanished when she spied a small cottage nestled in the woods. She hiked up her skirt, picked her way through branches and knocked at the door. No one answered, but the door swung open. Feeling no guilt, Goldie, the cosseted daughter of a major television network executive, helped herself to the water in the fridge. She looked around the cottage for a bite to eat. "Berries!" She grabbed a handful of ripe berries to gobble. "That's just disgusting!" she muttered as she spit them out. "Who could eat this stuff?" She found granola in another bowl. Again, she spit out the handful she had tasted, finding it way too crunchy.

Thinking she'd sit down for awhile and wait for the owners of the cottage to return, Goldie looked around and saw three rocking chairs, ranging in size from small to medium to large. She thought of herself as petite, so she tried the smallest chair first. As she sat on it, the chair splintered into hundreds of small pieces. "Wow, like that wasn't well made," she thought to herself. She then tried the medium-sized chair and that one was a bit tight, although it didn't give way under her weight. Finally she tried the largest chair and found it to be fairly comfortable, so she sat for awhile until she became bored playing Candy Crush on her iPhoneX.

Exhausted, Goldie looked for a place to rest, but she only saw straw mattresses on the floor. Once again, the mattresses appeared to be in sizes small, medium and large. She lay down on the largest one thinking she'd just relax a few minutes but sleep overtook her and she didn't awake until she heard angry voices nearby. Alarmed, she arose and saw three bears who seemed to be a nuclear family. There was a very large Poppa bear, a medium-sized Momma bear, and their very small Little Baby Bear.

"Who are you and what are you doing in our home?" asked Poppa Bear. By this time, Goldie was fully awake. Frightened by her predicament, she tried to explain her dilemma and apologized for using their facilities. "Like I can pay you for anything I used," she pledged, "Money is no object."

"You don't get it," Poppa Bear angrily declared. "We live off the grid, live off the land and try to protect the environment. It's humans like you, with their gas-guzzling cars and fancy leather accessories that are ruining our habitat."

At that, Goldie proceeded to run, as fast as her Jimmy Choos would allow, toward the door. "Wow! Like I am really, really sorry I screwed up your world," she flung back at them. "All I wanted was a drink and a place to sit for a few minutes. It's not my fault you only have those rocking chairs and the stupid straw mats on the floor. Maybe you should get yourselves some sleep number beds so you wouldn't be so grouchy."

She bolted out the door and headed back through the woods towards the road where she found Brett waiting at her Ferrari.
"Where were you, Babe?" he whined, "Like I've been waiting here for 10 minutes and I have places to go."
"Sorry, Hon, I got trapped in the cottage of some crazy environmentalists," she answered.
She jumped into Brett's Porsche Panamera and they sped away to find a tow truck and civilization.

I've always loved the Goldilocks fairy tale...loved the audacity of Goldie who goes into the bears' place and just makes herself at home there, so it was an easy pick for me to update this classic tale.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by cleo85 at

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