Humor Fiction posted November 24, 2017

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Four ex Commanders fall out on politics.

Knock Out Drag Out Fight

Feeling charitable, one day, Billy Willy decided to get all the ex high ranking Commanders together and get some celebrity advertising going. Also, he figured charity events, charging $1000 a plate would help raise money for the poor, homeless children, and disabled vets.

So Georgie Porgie, Richie, Billy Willie, and Obbie threw a large gala at this millionaire's home. Guests arrived in limos with tuxedos and long flowing gowns. Sparkling diamonds and red rubies adorned all the women's wrists and ears, as they strutted in on fancy designer high heel shoes. I should be so rich!

All the four VIP's sat at one table with their wives, but Richie brought up politics. "I was the best Commander that ever ran the Big House in all of history."

"You telling a damn lie," Georgie Porgie spouted back. "I ran Congress with an iron fist, and brought our soldiers back home from war, after the terrorists tried to bomb us out.

Looks like our VIP's drank a little too much, and they were spewing the first foul things came out their mouths, as they took off their ties, unbuttoned their shirts, and rolled up their sleeves. Some of their facts were distorted, also.

Terrified and embarrassed, wives tried to push their husbands back down into their $1000 a plate dinners, to no avail. One VIP slapped his wife, and, even called her a witch.

Billy Willy spun around and shouted, "Well, Georgie, you're the one started that gall blasted senseless war in the first place, over there looking for gold in the desert; and, your butt never found no gold, just hard rocks and terrorists, you fool!" Billy Willy paused, but then continued. "I'm such a handsome fellow, and all the gorgeous women love me, because of my big blue eyes and beautiful smile."

Obbie jumped up and announced, "Well, 'f' you, you scandalous Repubs, because the people love us Demos, and I stayed in office twelve years and cured the sick people and passed healthy bills."

Obbie's wife whispered, "No darling! You passed health care bills that helped cure sick people." "What woman, are you disputing me? Stand up and salute me, now, girl, and give me 100 push ups, right now, NOW!"

Richie stood up beating his chest like Tarzan and bellowing, "No, I was better than the best, and I developed electronics and listening devices that everybody everywhere uses, right now."

Spinning huge smoke-filled room with thousands of guests became quiet all of a sudden, and all eyes were on the VIP table. Even the music stopped, as shocked people stared in surprise.

Billy Willy shouted, "Sit your dang butt down, Richie," as he threw a whole lemon pie with fluffy cream topping in Richie's face. Richie just stood there looking stunned like Ricky Ricardo in the I Love Lucy show, licking cream off his face. "Umm, good pie!"

Suddenly, Obbie started bragging about how he painted the Big House Black and he was the best VIP in all of U.S. history. "Oh, sit your stinky Donkey ass, lying butt down," Georgie Porgie shouted as he stood on top of this elegant banquet table, walking over diners' food, punching Obbie in the mouth.

"Oh, heck no, you peanut-eating elephant Repub, take that," as Obbie, a Demo donkey, smashed his plate of watery mash potatoes in Georgie Porgie's red face and mangled hair.

Meanwhile, Billy Willy, also, labeled as the Demo donkey, stumbled to Obbie's rescue; but, he slipped on corn and greasy mashed potatoes, and split his pants wide open, showing his pink and green polka dot briefs with donkey faces.

All of the horrified wives of these four VIP's started trying to help their husbands back in their seats. Unfortunately, these high society women wearing $5,000 diamond-laced Gucci gowns, slipped on lemon pie, and whipped cream and bust their butts, also, and expensive jewelry flew off into the punch bowl.

"Ouch, I know that hurts," I squinted, as I watched people busting their butts on gold-plated hard marble flooring.

Pissed, the homeowner, Mr. Millionaire, yelled for everybody to get the "f" out of his home right now, before he calls the cops. This freaked out host said he would never invite them again; and, all of them and their actions were going to be on the front cover of Celebrity magazines, and on the front page of the Times newspaper, tomorrow, because he took pictures and made live videos of their insane escapades.

"Smile, you're all on candid camera," Mr. Millionaire laughed and cried at the same time.
"What a doggone pity. Shameful!"

Presidents Hanging Out contest entry
Author information not displayed for this contest.

One night, four ex-Commanders got together at a $1,000 plated dinner at this millionaire's house. When they started talking politics, and who did the best job for their country, food and fists starting flying! What a mess! Shame on ya'll!

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

DISCLAIMER: This piece is purely fictional and meant for humor, and in no means is the intention to shame or state anything negative about any of the characters in this fantasy make believe story. Thank you very much for reading. Did you laugh or at least chuckle? I mainly like poems, but I tried my hand at writing a short story for the President's Hanging Out prompt. I hope you loved it, really I do!!
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