Humor Fiction posted November 13, 2017


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Would you buy a Jacked car? Hell ya! if the car was worth it

Jack That Car!

by RazorFace

FADE IN:


INT. BUY A USED CAR FROM ME? - DAY

It's a beautiful sunny morning. Elvin is standing in front
of a red Alfa Romeo 2018 4C Spider. It looks like new.
Camera slowly Zooms in on Elvin and the 4C Spider.

ELVIN
(Elvin is Smiling)
Good morning everyone! It is a
beautiful day for a beautiful car!
Here at Jack that Car
we have an extraordinary car for
you. Brand new, just off the show
room floor, the Alfa Romeo 4C
Spider. This car normally starts
at $66,000.00; you can drive away
in this car for just $3,000. Call
us right now! This deal could
disappear any minute. So call us
at 777-pay-cash. Bring cash ...
that always speeds the paperwork
up!

Hey bro! Can you top that deal?

Camera pans to the right. chuckles is standing in front of
a used Ferrari 488 GTB. Silver and Gold two toned, parked
in front of a big statue of Robert E. Lee.

CHUCKLES
(Clears his throat)
Funny you should ask, I just
happen to have a Ferrari 488 GBT.

It has impressive techno stuff
inside and has one of the best
break away speeds available. The
keys are attached under the
beautiful front end. All tracking
devices are easily set and
disabled. We can show you how.
All this available for just
$1,000.00 down and several small
payments of (mumbles), You can't
beat that.

What else you got Elvin?

The camera pans left and zooms in on Elvin standing in front
of a stretch limousine. It was black and had gold trim
around the entire car.

ELVIN
(Standing proud by
the rear end of
the limousine)
This is one beautiful car. Able
to perform high speed chases in
luxury and comfort. Hire a driver
or drive it yourself. It is a
master piece of luxury and beauty.
This beautiful limo could be
yours for just $1,000.00. If you
call right now.

Look at this beautiful beast! So
long! So firm! It makes you want
to reach out and put your hands on
it. Call us now!

Take it Chuckles!

The driver for the limo rolls his window and sticks his head
out.

LIMO DRIVER
Take your hands off the limo before
I break them.

Camera pans away from the limo to Chuckles.

LIMO DRIVER
Get away from the limo! Now or
I'm gonna make chum out of you. Do
not point that camera over here
again. Got it?

CHUCKLES
Don't mind him he's just a little
cranky, because he doesn't come
with the deal.

STRANGER
(From the back
ground)
That's my car! You are
advertising my car for car jacking
prices!

ELVIN
(waves the camera
to him)
Well that's it for this edition of
Jack that Car! For the right
price of course!

Pack it up Dweeb! We need to make
like a bakery truck and haul buns.

You see the camera shaking pointed towards the ground. The
three of them are yelling at each other as they are being
chased by the stranger.

ELVIN
(talking over his
shoulder while
running)
I hope you give us a try. Remember
cash gets results! Results are
just a phone call away.

Elvin's phone starts ringing while he runs. You can only
see his ankles.

ELVIN
Great! A happy new customer right
now.

Elvin mumbles on the phone while running. Occasional "Ok"
and "I'll be there..."

ELVIN
Go right at the light and turn
left at the first alley.

They follow Elvin's orders and disappear down the alley.

ELVIN
(Elvin is talking
from around the
corner and down
the alley.)
$3,000.00! We are on it. Just be
ready when we park it out front.

The three of them come running out of the alley and form a
quick huddle in the street.

ELVIN
(All of them
together)
Hup! Hup! Hike!

ELVIN
(Elvin shouts
above them)
Left Interference right end run
with key

The three split up from the huddle and they start to run a
pattern like a football play. Dweeb ran down to the corner
and cut left making a bee line for the owner of the Alfa
Romeo who was standing in front of his vehicle. Chuckles
mean while has gone deep and run a post pattern behind the
owner of the Alfa Romeo.

DWEEB
Clothes Line with Safety Check!

CHUCKLES
Check!

ELVIN
Check!

Dweeb hits the driver in the chest as he charges him and
Chuckles goes low behind him but Elvin dives behind his head
to make sure there are no concussions.

Chuckles pulls the keys to the car out of the pocket of the
owner and passes them to Elvin who heads for the driver
seat. Just as he gets the car started the chauffer got out
of his limo. Too late! The car started up and Elvin was
out of there! The other two took off down the road and
disappeared in a flash.

The Alfa Romeo flew around the block and Elvin parked it in
front of the alley from earlier. He Climbed out and left it
running.

A second camera is required here to pickup all 3 of them
running. From here forward it is the second camera. Dweeb
is carrying the portable camera.

ELVIN
(He yelled over
his shoulder
while he was
running)
Remember you got it here at
JackThatCar.com! This has been a
paid advertisement for Jack That
Car! A business dedicated to
taking the danger out of Joy
Riding.


FADE OUT.


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