This is the story of me and the wife, with SOME exaggeration
And how I survived to tell the tale of male emancipation
On our wedding day she loudly yelled. "You agree I'm in control."
I replied, "Yes dear. I give to you my body, my heart, my soul."

Still recall the fateful day she rubbed her tummy and turned to me.
"Got some special news today," she said. "You're gonna be a daddy."
The news sat me on me arse somewhat, now life's really on the skids
She put me of me place that day, behind the missus and the kids

So, when I need some peace of mind I retreat out into my shed
Grab a coldie from the fridge, kick the cat and curse the day I wed
Then as the booze kicks in I think back on the crazy things we did
I have to say it 'cause I'm so proud of the missus and the kids

As I reflect on days long past I'm genuinely filled with pride
The days and years have slid by fast and I'm still on the winning side
There's not much I'd want to change nor am I ashamed by what I did
But it would be nice to win just once, 'gainst the missus and the kids