| General Fiction posted September 28, 2017 |
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Bug Talking contest entry.
The Ladybug's Invite
by DragonSkulls
Bug Talkin' Contest Winner
"Okay, George, I know you're not going to like it
but we're new to the neighborhood and we need
to make friends and be somewhat sociable, so I
invited our neighbors over for dinner tonight."
"Well, aint that just fantastic. I can't wait. I can hear
it already, "So you're a 'male' ladybug, huh?" I swear,
Alice, if one moron says that, I'm going to go ballistic."
"No, George, you won't. You'll chuckle like it's the first
time you've ever heard it in your life and you'll be nice to
our guests. Got it?"
"Hey, when som-"
"I said GOT IT?"
"Yes, dear."
"Good."
"I'm sure I don't have to remind you of the last few fiascos
we've had with invited neighbors, right? Remember the Sheldon's?
They were nice enough slugs but it took us a week to clean up that
disgusting slime trail they so 'unknowingly' left behind. My ass. And how
about the pray mantis couple you invited? The wife was the only one that
showed. Then she didn't eat any of the gigantic meal you cooked because
she said, and I quote, "I just finished devouring my husband before I
came over." Boy, wasn't that a conversation piece? What did she say
his name was...Grub? And then there was that day I came home from
work and you didn't tell me you invited the roach family over. I thought
you went to bed early. I came through the front door and flipped on the
light and they freaked out and scattered all over the place to hide. Crap,
we didn't find their youngest son until the next morning, under the
fridge. Honestly, I just wanted to squish him. So you can say our track
record for neighbor get togethers isn't really all that promising."
"I don't want to hear it. This is happening. Accept it."
"So who is it you invited?"
"Well, I met Barbara yesterday, out by their fence. Her
husband's name is Fred. They're a couple beetles and
they'll be here shortly."
"Huraaaaay!"
"Knock it off. Oh look, here they come now."
"Okay, here, let me put on my happy face and pretend
I'm actually excited."
"Uh-oh. Uuuummm, I think you're going to be a little
disappointed, George."
"Like I'm not already?"
"One thing I didn't actually catch onto while talking with
her yesterday was...well..."
"Spit it out woman, what?"
"They're apparently 'dung' beetles and they have their
you-know-what with them."
"Oh hell no. That ain't happening. They have to park
that thing on the curb and I'll flat out tell you now.
I'm not shaking his hand."
"Okay, George, I know you're not going to like it
but we're new to the neighborhood and we need
to make friends and be somewhat sociable, so I
invited our neighbors over for dinner tonight."
"Well, aint that just fantastic. I can't wait. I can hear
it already, "So you're a 'male' ladybug, huh?" I swear,
Alice, if one moron says that, I'm going to go ballistic."
"No, George, you won't. You'll chuckle like it's the first
time you've ever heard it in your life and you'll be nice to
our guests. Got it?"
"Hey, when som-"
"I said GOT IT?"
"Yes, dear."
"Good."
"I'm sure I don't have to remind you of the last few fiascos
we've had with invited neighbors, right? Remember the Sheldon's?
They were nice enough slugs but it took us a week to clean up that
disgusting slime trail they so 'unknowingly' left behind. My ass. And how
about the pray mantis couple you invited? The wife was the only one that
showed. Then she didn't eat any of the gigantic meal you cooked because
she said, and I quote, "I just finished devouring my husband before I
came over." Boy, wasn't that a conversation piece? What did she say
his name was...Grub? And then there was that day I came home from
work and you didn't tell me you invited the roach family over. I thought
you went to bed early. I came through the front door and flipped on the
light and they freaked out and scattered all over the place to hide. Crap,
we didn't find their youngest son until the next morning, under the
fridge. Honestly, I just wanted to squish him. So you can say our track
record for neighbor get togethers isn't really all that promising."
"I don't want to hear it. This is happening. Accept it."
"So who is it you invited?"
"Well, I met Barbara yesterday, out by their fence. Her
husband's name is Fred. They're a couple beetles and
they'll be here shortly."
"Huraaaaay!"
"Knock it off. Oh look, here they come now."
"Okay, here, let me put on my happy face and pretend
I'm actually excited."
"Uh-oh. Uuuummm, I think you're going to be a little
disappointed, George."
"Like I'm not already?"
"One thing I didn't actually catch onto while talking with
her yesterday was...well..."
"Spit it out woman, what?"
"They're apparently 'dung' beetles and they have their
you-know-what with them."
"Oh hell no. That ain't happening. They have to park
that thing on the curb and I'll flat out tell you now.
I'm not shaking his hand."
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Writing Prompt Write a humorous flash fiction piece that involves one or more talking insects. Length 100-1000 words. |
Bug Talkin' Contest Winner |
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