General Script posted September 6, 2017


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Scene at a road crossing

Skunk World 6

by Bill Schott


Two skunks meet at the shoulder of a two-lane black top road.

Skeemer: How ya doin', Skam ?

Skammer: I'm feeling rather 'scent'ual.

Skeemer: (
With an eye roll, and a dry response) Hardy har har.

Skammer: Oh, look! Is that not our cousin Skooter?

Skeemer: You referrin' to that red, white, and black pancake on the road there?

Skammer: Yes. I noted a slight overbite in that unpressed snout that is protruding above the matted flatness.

Skeemer: Well, he owes me money, so it only stands to reason he'd be smashed to a throw rug.

Skammer: Yes, rather. I surmise there will be no great 'scent'ament on your part.

Skeemer: I will miss my money dearly.

Skammer: Should we lift the poor chap off the thoroughfare and give him a de-'scent' burial?

Skeemer: You got a spatula?

Skammer: We might actually be able to peel him off the pavement like an adhesive bandage.

Skeemer: (
Flatly) Sure. Let's do it fast so's not to make it hurt.

The two skunks successfully remove the flattened carcass from the road
and toss it into the ditch.


Skammer: My, my. He must have been driven over a thousand times.

Skeemer: And re'scent'ly. When you're down and out everybody's a car tire.

Skammer: Yes. Perhaps you could have that immortalized on a t-shirt.

Skeemer: Yeah, sure. Hey, I just thought of a joke to go along with this situation.

Skammer: How can one find humor in this tragic event ?

Skeemer: It's how I cope with loss; like in this case of losin' all that money. Knock, knock.

Skammer: I refuse to be a part of --

Skeemer: Who's there? Well it sure as hell ain't Skooter.

Skammer: You are completely de'scent'sitized.

Skeemer: What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. Guess what the headline is? Cars, one thousand, skunk, zero. Oh yeah, Skooter's in the obituary.

Skammer: Totally inappropriate.

Skeemer: Why'd the skunk cross the road? Well, he didn't really. So, I guess we won't ever know.

Skammer: May I give you my two 'scents' ?

Skeemer: I'd say no. Smell ya later, Skam.


The two skunks leave. Skeemer heads across the highway while Skammer watches across his shoulder, walking away from the road. There is a loud screeching sound. Skammer runs back to the road to see Skeemer on the opposite shoulder.

Skammer: Are you alright, dear boy ?

Skeemer: Sure. And now I know why the skunk crossed the road.

Skammer: To get to the other side?

Skeemer: (
Looking a bit disappointed) Well -- yeah.


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© Copyright 2017. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
Bill Schott has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.