|General Script posted September 6, 2017|
Scene at a road crossing
Skunk World 6
by Bill Schott
Two skunks meet at the shoulder of a two-lane black top road.
Skeemer: How ya doin', Skam ?
Skammer: I'm feeling rather 'scent'ual.
Skeemer: (With an eye roll, and a dry response) Hardy har har.
Skammer: Oh, look! Is that not our cousin Skooter?
Skeemer: You referrin' to that red, white, and black pancake on the road there?
Skammer: Yes. I noted a slight overbite in that unpressed snout that is protruding above the matted flatness.
Skeemer: Well, he owes me money, so it only stands to reason he'd be smashed to a throw rug.
Skammer: Yes, rather. I surmise there will be no great 'scent'ament on your part.
Skeemer: I will miss my money dearly.
Skammer: Should we lift the poor chap off the thoroughfare and give him a de-'scent' burial?
Skeemer: You got a spatula?
Skammer: We might actually be able to peel him off the pavement like an adhesive bandage.
Skeemer: (Flatly) Sure. Let's do it fast so's not to make it hurt.
The two skunks successfully remove the flattened carcass from the road
and toss it into the ditch.
Skammer: My, my. He must have been driven over a thousand times.
Skeemer: And re'scent'ly. When you're down and out everybody's a car tire.
Skammer: Yes. Perhaps you could have that immortalized on a t-shirt.
Skeemer: Yeah, sure. Hey, I just thought of a joke to go along with this situation.
Skammer: How can one find humor in this tragic event ?
Skeemer: It's how I cope with loss; like in this case of losin' all that money. Knock, knock.
Skammer: I refuse to be a part of --
Skeemer: Who's there? Well it sure as hell ain't Skooter.
Skammer: You are completely de'scent'sitized.
Skeemer: What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. Guess what the headline is? Cars, one thousand, skunk, zero. Oh yeah, Skooter's in the obituary.
Skammer: Totally inappropriate.
Skeemer: Why'd the skunk cross the road? Well, he didn't really. So, I guess we won't ever know.
Skammer: May I give you my two 'scents' ?
Skeemer: I'd say no. Smell ya later, Skam.
The two skunks leave. Skeemer heads across the highway while Skammer watches across his shoulder, walking away from the road. There is a loud screeching sound. Skammer runs back to the road to see Skeemer on the opposite shoulder.
Skammer: Are you alright, dear boy ?
Skeemer: Sure. And now I know why the skunk crossed the road.
Skammer: To get to the other side?
Skeemer: (Looking a bit disappointed) Well -- yeah.
© Copyright 2018. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
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