General Fiction posted September 1, 2017

This work has reached the exceptional level
Revenge Reviewing contest entry

A Plagiarized Review

by Thal1959

So... you didn't like my essay on writing dramatic scripts. Odd, since the one star you gave me was quite melodramatic in itself. Thus, to demonstrate my abilities, I will review your dramatic story with certitude and civility. Your story about massive overpopulation in a future New York City, complete with corpses being processed into little edible crackers shows that you have learned at least one word useful to the writing craft: Plagiarism. Your story is not a total loss, it can serve well as a bad example to others.

Your reference to the dead recalls my wish to die like my grandmother - peacefully in her sleep, not screaming in anguish like your readers. If you intended this story to be humorous, and people laughed at your attempts, don't worry, no one is laughing now. We all understand the problem... you were deprived of oxygen as a baby. When your mother tried to kill you by putting that plastic bag over your head, she lied when she said she was just trying to keep you fresh.

The next time you want a damn fool to review your work - do it yourself. But be of good cheer. Your writing is doing good in the world... I read it to a patient who was in a coma for three years and she awoke just to tell me to shut up. Your romance stories are read to sex addicts in prison to cure them. Really, I mean the last time I saw so many missed literary devices was when my charades partner was having a heart attack! The next time you write, do it while looking through your car's passenger's side mirror - it will make it look closer to real writing than it actually appears.

Sincerely yours, your favorite FanStory pal... P.S. don't forget to nominate this reply for reviewer of the month. Thank you.

Revenge Reviewing writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Just pretend someone has trashed your gem of a literary endeavor. It happens. And now, its your turn to help them polish their prose, pump up their poem, or regulate their rant. You take no pleasure in any of these, but feel compelled to help them track down a superfluous phrase, an errant comma or an apostrophe anomaly. IT'S YOUR DUTY! Besides, you need the money. Remember, bloodless kills are the best. Happy hunting!
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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