Years ago, to be precise the day the gulden became the euro, we could not believe our luck. The on-line casino made a mistake with the change-over. So we had about the amount of a house on our account.

My first experience with a casino was during a holiday on Madeira. The hotel had no air-conditioning, so finding a casino with cool air was like a gift from Heaven. The first night I won so much, that it allowed us to go every night and just pay for our drinks. I think this got me into gambling.

We were so careful with taking it off, only bit by bit. We hung onto it for years, when we reckoned they could not come after us.

Robert, my husband, told me not to tell anybody. Somewhat later I took my best friend in confidence. She is the only one that knows.

Now, many years later, I feel ashamed and guilty. But the money is gone: we spent it on online casinos. I think even Robert might feel the same.

I beg God in Heaven to forgive us.