I met her in a diner in North Carolina.
She was a short order waitress called Sue.
I thought she looked hot although I'd drunk quite a lot
And focusing was kinda hard to do.

I looked into her eyes and ordered burger and fries.
She wrote it down and I gave her a wink.
I called, "I'd also like a beer", as I checkled out her rear
When she took some dishes over to the sink.

Her butt was big and round and almost touched the ground
Yeah she seemed like my kinda gal.
She came back with the dinner, I thought hey, I'm on a winner
And told her she could call me Al.

I pulled her onto my lap. She said, "you just stop all that crap"
and landed me a right hook in the eye.
She dragged me along the floor then threw me out the door.
When I woke up I was facing the sky.
Lying outside the diner with a monster of a shiner.

I sure as hell ain't going there no more.