Nobody, not even Tom, is aware of something about me I now will confess.
My secret, it's safe to say, is that I'm not like any other writer on FS.

I'm a normal domestic feline, and profoundly proud of that.
I humbly note there is nothing as perfect as being a cat.

Catching a mousie has always been my pleasure;
I parade it proudly, showing off my treasure.

At chasing birds I have less success (unless I come across one with a broken wing).
Playing the fool with a strand of string, somehow seems to me a really fun thing.

I hate to be laughed at when I lose composure, or I'm indiscrete,
But unlike dumb dogs and their masters, when I fall, I land on my feet.

The dipsy doggy knows, to mess with me would mean mutt calamity;
I am the alpha member in this mouse-free, one-cat family.

The satisfaction of manipulating a person into fawning over me,
Making clueless humans subservient, serve to reinforce my superiority.

Being smarter than homo sapiens makes me a very rapturous cat
I hope the dimwit dupes don't get educated enough to realize that.

Another secret I have longed to brag about since I was a wee kitten -
Still in a litter of kits, I knew, a plaintive 'mew' would make a mark smitten.

Yes, we cats are quite controlling; goldfish (tasty prey, by the way) in contrast, are not.
Our attributes are advantageous to having our way; we make the most of what we got.

Unlike anyone else's, a cat's behavior is not considered naughty,
when, in fact, the expectation of a cat is to be aloof and haughty.

I'm happy being haughty, and naughty, too; it's a complicated life I lead.
With all my mousing duties and other cat work, I still have to write and read.

After all, as some know, Don's prime occupation is penning strange poems and prose;
Admit it, in truth though, you have reservations concerning my human-side pose.