Offered for rent is a spacious cloud with celestial views, and a prestigious address, 7 Celestial Terrace, Cloud 9. Amenities include complimentary Happy Hour, which begins at precisely five p.m. each day, featuring wine made from water before your very eyes.

You will also have unlimited access to golf at Saint Andrews, free admission to the San Genarro festival, a custom designed white silk wardrobe, and a perpetual night club pass to see J.C. and the Apostles, appearing nightly at the Holy Ghost Club.

The only negative is constant chanting from Monks, but it is offset by free ale and mead they supply to your refrigerator each afternoon. The cost for these blissful accommodations is an affordable 10 Our Father's and 8 Hail Mary's per month.

Come on down! Calling all the party people, a HOT Apartment just came on the market at 666 Beach Boulevard. You can't miss this one. This apartment is located in the heart of South Beach, Miami. Mucho Caliente! Do you want to be surrounded by hedonists? Where else than here for the pleasures of the flesh would you look to live?

Do you like to entice others? Go a little too far showing off your body? Do you like to tease? This place is for you. Clothing of course is optional. You will have a perpetual tan, corrupt innocent people, drink to excess and have unabashed sex with whomever you want, with absolutely no repercussions. Sounds good, huh?

These glorious accommodations are free. However, once you enter, you can never leave. It's not a place for the fair skinned, or those who are sexually shy. It's also not a place for those with an aversion to authority, since the landlord demands compliance.