“There, now, Mr. Smitley.  That should deaden that tooth nicely.  You really have a bad cavity.”

“Buh  ah  wuss m-mah tee wi Cwess ewy day!”

“Every day, huh.  Do you floss?”

“Uh, ahness answer, Dah, whi I thin a‘out it.”

“When you think about it.  Does that happen very often?”

“parently nah.”

“Well, I hate to tell you, but this tooth has got to come out.”

“No-o-o, Dah!  When I Suh –ile, suh-ile, smuh, smu - smile –It’ll show!  An I ssm-ssm-i-ile a lah!  A lah!

“That’s very nice that you smile a lot, however, I cannot save this tooth.  It’s got to come out.  I can replace it with a nice new one.”

“Nie new un… weh, ok.”

“First, I’ll make a mold of your old one, then send it off to be made, and we’ll call you when it comes in.  It will take about a week for me to get it back.”

“So no suh-miling fah a wee, huh?”

“Of course, you can smile.”

“Wi a ho in mah mou???”

“Well, yes.”

“Forgeh ih, dah.  Ah’ll kee m-mah tu.”

“If you keep this tooth the infection will spread to your other teeth, and the pain will be excruciating.”

“Buh I can sti s-s-mi…”

“You can still smile, sir!  You can laugh yourself silly!  Enjoy yourself before your head rots off!”

“rahs aw?”

“Yes.  Rots off!  Is that what you want?”

“You ink ah stu-id?”

“I take it that’s a no.”