My parents weren't thrilled about me taking the bus to see Alex; they were hoping the move had motivated me to find someone new, to do something new. Time and space had only made things more complicated. Eight hours wasn't far, but with neither of us having a reliable car, he might as well have been eighty hours away.

I packed and repacked my small bag. I wouldn't be staying long, just long enough to know if what we had was worth saving. My Mom knocked on my door, and I told her to come in.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so," I sighed.

"You're too young for stuff like this, but you've been miserable these past two months," she said with her brow furrowed.

I wanted to go, but almost hoped she would say it was out of the question, that they didn't trust me to go away by myself, at freshly 18 and just out of high school.

We drove quietly the fifteen minutes to our small bus stop. It was a cool 62 degrees. However, my stomach was in knots, and my navy blue fitted t-shirt clung to my back. I watched the rolling hills and peaceful farm animals and envied them.

The bus was already there, and I imagined it going off without me and thought I could be okay with that. I pressed my sandalled feet to the floorboard subconsciously willing my Mother to slow down, so the bus would disappear.

"It looks like there's already a full bus waiting for you," she said.

I felt around in my small duffel bag, double checking that I still had my cell phone and wallet for the hundredth time. My Mom grabbed my face with both hands and kissed my forehead. I breathed in her heaven scent perfume that she had loved since she was my age, and squeezed her neck.

"You don't have to go" Mom said.

"I do," I said as I got out of the car and climbed into the bus.