General Fiction posted August 23, 2016


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A man gets surprising news while eating pie

Surprise pie

by oliver818

John was sitting alone in his kitchen, eating a slice of apple pie. I love apple pie, he thought to himself as the spoon dug through the soft cream, bit into the crispy crust and scooped out a spoonful. His mother made a pie every week, and every Sunday she gave him a huge chunk to take home after Sunday lunch. And every Sunday evening after dinner he allowed himself a half hour to sit and eat a slice, with some thick whipped cream, and drink a cup of dark black coffee.

The pie suddenly opened its mouth, yes pie's have mouths it seems, and said to him, "You know what John, you are really good at eating me."

John stopped eating, and the spoon fell to the table with a tinkle. He stared at the piece of pie that lay on his plate.

"It's true John, you really know how to eat pie. I mean , I can't say I've been eaten before, this is my first, and last time, but boy, you are good. You chew properly, you really appreciate my texture and flavours, and, well, I just wanted to say, it's a pleasure to be your snack my friend."

John was surprised by this news, and he reached out to pick up his coffee.

"Don't look at me," squealed the coffee. "I don't agree at all. You're a messy eater John, and you always mix me up in your mouth with that pie and cream. And why does he get cream, and I have to remain dark? Do your know how amazing it feels for coffee to be drunk with milk added into it? It's like, well it's like heaven, John. And you deny your coffee that every Sunday."

John looked back at the pie. It smiled and said,"It's kind of true, all the food in your fridge has been talking about it. You really skimp on the milk in your coffee."

John rubbed his eyes for a good 30 seconds before opening them again to take in the scene again. He hadn't had such a weird conversation in a long time.

At that moment the phone rang. Half expecting it to tell him off for not answering quick enough, he went over and picked it up.

"John? It's Mum. Don't eat the pie! Your stupid brother hid some hallucinogenic drugs in with my flour and I didn't notice and it got into the cake. You dad has been in the hospital talking to a six foot rabbit named Jakob for the last hour, and I only just got time to call you. You haven't had any had you?"

Surprising as this news was, it did explain some of the things that had been disturbing him for the last 10 minutes.

"No mum, I'm fine. I'll drop by the hospital soon to keep you guys company."

He hung up and went back to the table.

"Ok pie, it seems you're a figment of my imagination. So, tell me more about how good I am at eating you, I'm intrigued."


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