Bill Sykes had a mother,
A fact not many knew.
She was married to the undertaker
Samuel William Pugh.
They ran a second hand emporium,
A profitable venture
Selling things the dead don't need,
Used wigs, glass eyes and dentures.

When round came Mothering Sunday
Sam took Bill's mum to lunch.
They were road testing some dentures
That had come in the last bunch.
"I'll just have soup." She muttered
"These dentures are quite loose."
"Mine are tight and fit just right."
Said Sam "I'll have the goose."

Bill's mum had eaten all her soup
And said she fancied beef.
So she enquired if Samuel
Had finished with his teeth.
She asked if she could borrow them
As she had not had enough
And she needed better fitting teeth
In case the beef was tough.

Because his were the larger size
They did not fit her gums,
Still feeling rather hungry
This upset Bill Sykes mum.
But Samuel had a cunning plan
And said "Cos I adore you,
Go ahead and order beef
And I will chew it for you.