| Satire Non-Fiction posted March 3, 2016 |
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Political Epistle
A Long-Haired White Guy's Opinion
by michaelcahill
I recall back in the day we would enjoy having various unlikely individuals make a run for the White House. One of my favorites garnered laughs for years as he traveled the country pretending to be a serious Presidential candidate. No one from my generation won’t have a picture pop into their heads when I say the name, Pat Paulsen.
Here’s a sample of some of his campaign rhetoric:
"I feel that it is too directly bound to its own anguish to be anything other than a cry of negation, carrying within itself the seeds of its own destruction. However, to get to the meat of the matter, I will come right to the point, and take note of the fact that the heart of the issue in the final analysis escapes me."
I had the privilege of seeing him live at the Ice House, a little club in Pasadena, California and I can tell you, his dead pan delivery made lines like the above hilarious. I suppose the humour stemmed from the uncanny similarity to actual rhetoric being spewed by the real candidates of the day. He didn’t sound a whole lot different to be candid.
Over the years many celebrities have run for the highest office, all in good fun. I recall a couple pro wrestlers, several comedians, even a dog or two. As I recall we even elected an actor President one time, no doubt confusing the ballot box with the box office. Here in my stomping grounds of California, I kid you not, we elected The Terminator Governor and, yep, we did invite HIM BACK!
I mention all of this because I turned on the television last night to watch the Republican Presidential Debates and you wouldn’t believe what I saw. Donald Trump was standing center stage on the dais with them. No, no, no … I’m serious, he stood there big as life incredible hair, undulating face and all. And here’s the kicker, HE’S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! FOR REAL!
Yessssssss. I know, unbelievable. I went on line immediately and found out, not only is he running, he’s winning. Real people who know who he is and what he stands for are voting for him to be the Republican nominee for President. Let me make sure you understand this. They are voting for Donald Trump … thee Donald Trump to be the candidate they want to run against presumably Hilary Clinton, the winner to become the most powerful person in the world.
That’s okay with everybody? No one finds that the least bit objectionable or unusual. The majority of Republicans prefer him to say, a trained seal or a moderately intelligent human being, is that the gist of it?
I find this astonishing. You realize that his dream is to have a country where only white men are in charge, only white men have all the money, where only white men have anything?
Can you imagine a world where a few old white dudes are sitting in a room with their strange hair doos, counting stacks of cash, discussing how to dived up control of the earth while the most beautiful women on earth throw themselves at them. All you’ll need to be is: white, old and have a freaky head of hair to have everything you ever wanted in life. Does that sound … like a ….
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT 2016
I recall back in the day we would enjoy having various unlikely individuals make a run for the White House. One of my favorites garnered laughs for years as he traveled the country pretending to be a serious Presidential candidate. No one from my generation won’t have a picture pop into their heads when I say the name, Pat Paulsen.
Here’s a sample of some of his campaign rhetoric:
"I feel that it is too directly bound to its own anguish to be anything other than a cry of negation, carrying within itself the seeds of its own destruction. However, to get to the meat of the matter, I will come right to the point, and take note of the fact that the heart of the issue in the final analysis escapes me."
I had the privilege of seeing him live at the Ice House, a little club in Pasadena, California and I can tell you, his dead pan delivery made lines like the above hilarious. I suppose the humour stemmed from the uncanny similarity to actual rhetoric being spewed by the real candidates of the day. He didn’t sound a whole lot different to be candid.
Over the years many celebrities have run for the highest office, all in good fun. I recall a couple pro wrestlers, several comedians, even a dog or two. As I recall we even elected an actor President one time, no doubt confusing the ballot box with the box office. Here in my stomping grounds of California, I kid you not, we elected The Terminator Governor and, yep, we did invite HIM BACK!
I mention all of this because I turned on the television last night to watch the Republican Presidential Debates and you wouldn’t believe what I saw. Donald Trump was standing center stage on the dais with them. No, no, no … I’m serious, he stood there big as life incredible hair, undulating face and all. And here’s the kicker, HE’S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! FOR REAL!
Yessssssss. I know, unbelievable. I went on line immediately and found out, not only is he running, he’s winning. Real people who know who he is and what he stands for are voting for him to be the Republican nominee for President. Let me make sure you understand this. They are voting for Donald Trump … thee Donald Trump to be the candidate they want to run against presumably Hilary Clinton, the winner to become the most powerful person in the world.
That’s okay with everybody? No one finds that the least bit objectionable or unusual. The majority of Republicans prefer him to say, a trained seal or a moderately intelligent human being, is that the gist of it?
I find this astonishing. You realize that his dream is to have a country where only white men are in charge, only white men have all the money, where only white men have anything?
Can you imagine a world where a few old white dudes are sitting in a room with their strange hair doos, counting stacks of cash, discussing how to dived up control of the earth while the most beautiful women on earth throw themselves at them. All you’ll need to be is: white, old and have a freaky head of hair to have everything you ever wanted in life. Does that sound … like a ….
TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT 2016
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