" Bobby, if I told you once I told you fifty times, I cannot continue to date a man who curses like a drunken sailor who ended up a creek without a paddle in the middle of some God forsaken place. Why can't you be like your great grandaddy? My Mamma used to say he was the most dignified man in Florida, even if he showed up at church from time to time with his toupee on backwards and his fly open."

.......

" What do you mean, They are just words. Well let me tell you what it means. It means you are substituting the american venacular for feelings of frustration."
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"Yes thats right. Frustration. I took a psychology class at the community college fifty years ago in 1978. And I know a thing or two about the way people think. Especially men. Not that I've been with many, and decent women shouldn't discuss these matters with their fellow, but being frustrated never helped anyone in life. And Bobby let me tell you, you are one frustrated individual. See how I used the word individual instead of son of a ... you know what I mean. I wouldn't permit myself to use such filth and foul language. Why don't you try reading a book instead of watching movies. Sometimes I read the dictionary just for fun. Keeps me the dignified southern woman my mamma raised."

........

"Well now how is it all my fault... Oh I see. I know we have been courting for seven years without even a goodnight kiss, and you have been as patient as a pastor collecting church donations, but Bobby you'll have to put your money where your mouth is. Haha, look at that ...I made a funny." I'll bet you anything you desire if you can go one single solitary conversation without cursing. You just go on and try me now."

.........

"Yes that's right. ANYTHING." Now see how I used the word desire instead of want. " It's as simple as slicing keylime pie, even though I know it isn't your favorite even though it's mine."

...........

" And don't be getting any fancy ideas in that bald head of yours. With all the hype over that Fifty Shades of Grey movie, I would not be impressed. Why on earth would anyone choose such a dull name like grey with the color magenta around. Anyway I wouldn't be surprised if you had some of those bandage games up your sleeve. I know you always wanted to be a policeman, parading around dressed in black carrying handcuffs, nightsticks, and whatever other thing a ma jiggy that looks like it can twist and turn just about anywhere. I never knew people could do such things to each other and call it love. What's wrong with this generation anyway? Back in my day vows in front of the Lord above and some good old fashioned rope was all anyone ever needed."

.......

" What do you mean you saw the copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover on my bookshelf. Now that is a fine piece of literature. I'll have you know I read that book when I was fourteen. Had to hide it from my mamma in the shed, because if she found it, she'd tan my hide fifty shades of black and blue."

.........

"No, I will not go see the movie with you just yet. Now Bobby you know damn well I'm a decent Christian woman who prefers to finish the book before seeing the movie."