| General Non-Fiction posted October 20, 2014 |
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My personal story about religion.
The road I choose to travel
by Jackarrie
My parents were Catholics, so naturally they brought their children up in the same religion. I was one of those children who asked very awkward questions, about things that were very difficult for me to understand. The answer was always "Do not pry into the divine secrets of the Lord." So I never got any answers to my questions.
I met my boyfriend at the age of sixteen, and we married four years later. Our second child came quickly after the first born. I felt it was time that we learned about birth control. We were struggling financially so having more children would in my mind be very irresponsible. I went to confession and confessed that I was practicing birth control, the priest refused to give me absolution. He said I was to go home and fill heaven with saints. This was a big problem for me. I stopped going to confession. My husband continued to go. He had no problem just doing his own thing, as he said he had a clear conscience. He would still receive Holy Communion at mass, I thought him to be a hypocrite.
The Catholic Church teaches a principle called "primacy of conscience," When I read up on this, and what it really meant. The only way a good catholic woman can practice birth control, if she has health problems that would put her at risk of dying. It did not matter if she could not support another child financially.
The method my husband and I were using was called coitus-interruptus or withdrawal. I knew it was against the rules of the church. One day when I was reading the Bible, I was shocked when I read about the sin of Onah. God accused him of spilling the seed. So God killed him because he was practicing this method to avoid having children.
Confused about what to do, wanting to live as a responsible mother of two babies. I chose to ignore the rulings of the church. At this particular time I knew all about a priest in the parish, who was having sex with women, and also had a son with his housekeeper. At that time, this was not known to the general public. Years later it all came out in the news. I would not condemn this priest at all, if he left the priesthood, and settled into married life with his new wife and son. This did not happen, in fact, he died without ever acknowledging he had a son. This was just one story of many similar ones.
The paedophilia, among the clergy, corrupting the very young, was very difficult to take in. The clergy were protected by Cannon law; this meant they got away with their criminal acts scot free. The disgusting part of all of this was they were moved to another parish. They continued their heinous practices, destroying the minds and the lives of more children.
I wanted so much to keep the faith, and I know it is true that there are brilliant priests who have suffered because of all of this. Great men who do tremendous work, they genuinely care for the people. But even so, I lost all faith in the Christian teachings.
I continued to study the Bible, and I also continued to talk to pastors, and missionaries of different disciplines. I found it difficult to believe that we were all created six to ten thousand years ago, because I do believe in the big bang and evolution. My opinions were never accepted, as faith stopped the conversation on an ethical argument. .
It may NOT be said that there is NO God, it may be said that there is no reason to think there is one. I have nothing against Christians or believers of other Gods, but I would like them to respect my beliefs and to be aware that those who do not believe know right from wrong without a celestial guidance, we have union solidarity, innate awareness of right and wrong, and can be spiritual and good. I do believe we all need spirituality in our lives, to get a healthy balance. We don't need to understand, Religion, Philosophy or science to access Spirit.
For many individuals today including myself, spirituality has become a direct and personal connection with a God of this cosmic universe without having membership in any organized religion. I see God in nature, the birds, the flowers and the trees, in the faces of a new born baby. In a beautiful old wrinkled woman. He is everywhere, in works of art, including a well written poem, he is in the stars at night and the sun and the moon, wind and the rain. He is everywhere. There are many ways to worship and each has its own beauty. To live life in balance with this universal spirit is a healthy way.
Non-Fiction Writing Contest contest entry
My parents were Catholics, so naturally they brought their children up in the same religion. I was one of those children who asked very awkward questions, about things that were very difficult for me to understand. The answer was always "Do not pry into the divine secrets of the Lord." So I never got any answers to my questions.
I met my boyfriend at the age of sixteen, and we married four years later. Our second child came quickly after the first born. I felt it was time that we learned about birth control. We were struggling financially so having more children would in my mind be very irresponsible. I went to confession and confessed that I was practicing birth control, the priest refused to give me absolution. He said I was to go home and fill heaven with saints. This was a big problem for me. I stopped going to confession. My husband continued to go. He had no problem just doing his own thing, as he said he had a clear conscience. He would still receive Holy Communion at mass, I thought him to be a hypocrite.
The Catholic Church teaches a principle called "primacy of conscience," When I read up on this, and what it really meant. The only way a good catholic woman can practice birth control, if she has health problems that would put her at risk of dying. It did not matter if she could not support another child financially.
The method my husband and I were using was called coitus-interruptus or withdrawal. I knew it was against the rules of the church. One day when I was reading the Bible, I was shocked when I read about the sin of Onah. God accused him of spilling the seed. So God killed him because he was practicing this method to avoid having children.
Confused about what to do, wanting to live as a responsible mother of two babies. I chose to ignore the rulings of the church. At this particular time I knew all about a priest in the parish, who was having sex with women, and also had a son with his housekeeper. At that time, this was not known to the general public. Years later it all came out in the news. I would not condemn this priest at all, if he left the priesthood, and settled into married life with his new wife and son. This did not happen, in fact, he died without ever acknowledging he had a son. This was just one story of many similar ones.
The paedophilia, among the clergy, corrupting the very young, was very difficult to take in. The clergy were protected by Cannon law; this meant they got away with their criminal acts scot free. The disgusting part of all of this was they were moved to another parish. They continued their heinous practices, destroying the minds and the lives of more children.
I wanted so much to keep the faith, and I know it is true that there are brilliant priests who have suffered because of all of this. Great men who do tremendous work, they genuinely care for the people. But even so, I lost all faith in the Christian teachings.
I continued to study the Bible, and I also continued to talk to pastors, and missionaries of different disciplines. I found it difficult to believe that we were all created six to ten thousand years ago, because I do believe in the big bang and evolution. My opinions were never accepted, as faith stopped the conversation on an ethical argument. .
It may NOT be said that there is NO God, it may be said that there is no reason to think there is one. I have nothing against Christians or believers of other Gods, but I would like them to respect my beliefs and to be aware that those who do not believe know right from wrong without a celestial guidance, we have union solidarity, innate awareness of right and wrong, and can be spiritual and good. I do believe we all need spirituality in our lives, to get a healthy balance. We don't need to understand, Religion, Philosophy or science to access Spirit.
For many individuals today including myself, spirituality has become a direct and personal connection with a God of this cosmic universe without having membership in any organized religion. I see God in nature, the birds, the flowers and the trees, in the faces of a new born baby. In a beautiful old wrinkled woman. He is everywhere, in works of art, including a well written poem, he is in the stars at night and the sun and the moon, wind and the rain. He is everywhere. There are many ways to worship and each has its own beauty. To live life in balance with this universal spirit is a healthy way.
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