The Hole Story



 

Yeah, it's done. She's gone, just like you asked. She's fuckin' dead, man.

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No, don't worry, she didn't put up much of a struggle. She barely made a whimper.

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Oh, about two hours altogeher. Getting her outside was the hardest part. She must have been agoraphobic—or somethin'. I had to wait for the drugs to take effect, then dig the hole to —

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Okay, okay — shit, sorry. Geezus, just calm down. I forgot you have a weak stomach.

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So sue me, alright?

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Look, I dug it real deep, way out at the edge of the corn field. I buried her where the ground is constantly being plowed. Nobody will even notice it.

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Hell no, your kids won't know the truth, not unless we tell 'em. We'll say she ran off.

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Well, I ain't talkin'. I doubt you will either. Can you imagine what Norma would say – or little Johnny – if they knew the truth? They'd think we were fuckin' monsters.

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What, the bleeding? It's almost stopped. I'll be sure to mop up so no one will get suspicious. Probably aggravated it from all the digging I did. Besides, I put down the old drop cloth we used to paint your place last year, and —

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Hey, do you wanna hear what happened, or not? Hell yeah, of course I did it outside, you idiot! But globs of blood can still be seen on grass too, ya know? Besides, I wrapped her up, then buried her in it. No one's gonna find it or her, so just calm down, would'ja?

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No, I don't think so. There was nobody around except me. Thank God you live out in the middle of bum fucked Egypt.

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Well, you shouldn't. I never felt she was a good fit for you or the kids anyhow. Besides, she was a damn poor replacement for Elise. Beatrice was always the couch potato type, not active at all — fat and lazy. But not Elise.  She was full of life — the outdoorsy-type. She loved to run and take those long walks you were both so fond of, remember? Besides, Beatrice was way too old, and she could barely get around any longer to do the things you like to do. You or your kids.

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Yeah, of course the kids loved her. But, c'mon, man— you put up with her all of these years mainly for those kids. Otherwise, she'd have been dead meat a long time ago. You and I both know it, too.

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.22 caliber, from the top of your closet, just like you said. It did take two shots, though. The last one I put right between her fuckin' eyes. Something with a bit more 'umph' would have made things go much quicker, though. It would have been a lot less painful on her too, if it matters at all.

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No, you idiot. I used a pillow to muffle the sounds.

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Yeah, I know it's illegal, but someone had to do it and it sure wasn't gonna be you. The cancer really got her down. I got the kids off to school, just like you said, then did her, right after the sleeping pills kicked in.

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Damn straight she bit me, just like I told you, the bitch! She must've known what was coming. It's not that bad, but it does hurt like hell.

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I know you do; you owe me big time. The money you saved on vet bills  having me shoot that mangy mutt is going to cost you a steak dinner at the Hide-Away Restaurant, little brother. What's a bullet cost, a fuckin' buck — tops?

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Okay,  see you at eight o'clock, and don't be late.  I'm pretty doggone hungry!