Alone,
     I walk
           on dry sand and rock
           littered with cactus and scruffy brush
     in a vast desert
           flooded by overripe sunshine
           melting clothing into my skin
 
Clobbered
     by life, lies and why's
            I ran to prove...
                        .... what?
            that I can walk through a desert alone?
                        stupid, that is
            that I am worthy?
                        of what?
            that I am someone?
                        I am no one
 
I've walked
     for hours
             hours are minutes, minutes are days
             when you are alone with crazy thinking
 
Crazy
     that must be it
            delusional from the heat
            blistered feet on fire
 
Is this even real?
     or did I drop out of a dream
            to land in some undeveloped, hot as hell
            parking lot wannabe?
 
I squat
     to scrawl my name in dusted pebbled soil
            to leave my mark on earth
                          why God?
                          oh, God, why?
 
My life
     is like syrup on my hands
            and shit on my shoes
                   I leave a sticky mess
                   no matter what I do
 
Wandering (and wondering)
     aimlessly
               battling bruised and blistered skin
               I stop to rest on a rock
                          that mocks
                         my heart, my head
 
Looking down
     I find
              the mark I left behind
              but there was more
                           another name was scrawled beside my name
    Jesus,
              it said
 
 
He
     alone
            opened my eyes
            softened my heart
                             and said
                             walk with me
                             and you will be saved
 
Wet tears
     rolled
             down my parched face
             as I realized He is my Savior every day
             not only in the end
        
 
No reason
     to leave    
              a mark in life
        Jesus
              knows who and what I am
              and where I stand