I am not a one for saying
That what you did was wrong
But I thought it rather nasty
Telling her she don't belong
I know she has a pimply nose
That seems to stretch a mile
But that is overshadowed
When her cave mouth starts to smile
You should see her lovely eyes
When she gives her brows a trim
I know that they are rather large
But ideal for a swim

I am not a one for saying
That you had no right to laugh
When she told you that the firemen
Freed her from the bath
You see she is quite lonely
Her parents sent her on her way
They said she was too pretty
So she really couldn't stay
Her dad said she's the milkman's
But her ma said she'd been swapped
Her aunt said no she hadn't
That accidently she'd been dropped.

I am not a one for saying
You should try to be her friend
That is really up to you
Even though you could pretend
Everybody needs someone
We can't all be the same
But if she really has to leave
I'd say that you're to blame.