|Humor Script posted January 26, 2014||Chapters:||...11 12 -13- 14...|
A chapter in the book Tea with Tattoo Tony
PATRICIA: No, I see people for what they are. Greedy. Trying to get something for nothing.
FILLY: Now who’s being naïve!
PATRICIA: You’re just bitter because Dad handed me your fiancé on a silver platter.
FILLY: If that’s true, why would I bother to save his reputation?
TONY: (offstage) You two teases comin’ up or not. I’m naked and waitin’.
PATRICIA: (directed toward Tony) Deal's off, you thug. Take a cold shower.
(Doorbell chimes. ERMA dashes in, does a double take
ERMA: Oh no! Don’t tell me you gave everything to Grant Howard?
FILLY: All right. I won’t tell you.
PATRICIA: (to FILLY) Does your hired help make it a habit of barging in and asking personal
FILLY: Erma’s not my housemaid. She’s a neighbor –
ERMA: Her best friend.
PATRICIA: Oh please. (to FILLY) You let this commoner into your home? And then Tony?
(Sounds of a door shutting, followed by a full-blast shower.
FILLY:(offstage, imitation of her father) You don’t need all that water. Conserve our
(PATRICIA mimes her sister’s action and words,
PATRICIA: (to ERMA) She never could win that game.
(The shower slows down. FILLY returns. PATRICIA
PATRICIA:(chanting) Loser, loser.
ERMA: Stop fighting, children!
(PATRICIA and FILLY glare at each other, then at
PATRICIA: Oh Felicity, We did have some good times. Why can’t you see things my way?
FILLY: With money scammed from the middle class.
PATRICIAL: The greedy and gullible.
ERMA: Can I ask something?
(The shower has stopped. PATRICIA looks at her watch.)
PATRICIA: Seven and a half minutes! Mother would have a fit.
PATRICIA: Stay out of this, whatever your name is. Leave. You’re not wanted.
ERMA: But I have found—
FILLY: He left a letter addressed to me. A letter to be opened upon his death.
PATRICIA: What! Why? I was his favorite.
FILLY: Yes, he gave you the only man I ever loved.
PATRICIA: Oh for Pete’s sake. Dad did you a favor. Lionel’s a complete dud in bed.
ERMA:(frantic) The letter! The letter! What did it say?
FILLY: (to PATRICIA) If Lionel’s a dud, it’s because you don’t turn him on. I did.
PATRICIA: (stunned) You had sex with him?
FILLY: I confess. Dad caught us. He accused Lionel of rape since I was a minor at the time.
PATRICIA: (covering her ears) I don’t believe this.
FILLY: Lionel was given a choice—jail time or marriage to you.
PATRICIA: I hate you! Now, I know why you’re making up these lies.
FILLY: I’ll show you the letter Dad wrote when the doctor said he had four months
Rock-paper-scissors is a hand game usually played by two people, where players simultaneously form one of three shapes with an outstretched hand. The "rock" beats scissors, the "scissors" beat paper and the "paper" beats rock; if both players throw the same shape, the game is tied.Pays one point and 2 member cents.
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