Letters and Diary Fiction posted October 8, 2013

This work has reached the exceptional level
Sayid receives a disturbing letter after his wife's death

Please Forgive Me

by bluedragon776

A Deep Secret Contest Winner 
Dear Sayid,

I want to begin this letter by saying how much I love you. Not many people can proclaim a happy marriage of over sixty years to a lifelong love. God has blessed us with an amazing son and a great life overall. Our time together was the best of my life. Nonetheless, Sayid I do owe you the truth of who I was and what I did before we met.

In order for it all to make sense, I must start at the beginning.

When I was fifteen, three boys from my town raped me and I became pregnant with my daughter Starr. After Starr's birth, my mother moved us to a small town seventy miles from Munich. There we established the lie in which Starr became my sister. This worked for everyone. We were all spared the cruelty and judgment of Starr being labeled illegitimate, and me a whore.

My father left when I was barely two years old. To the neighbors he simply became a casualty of the war, killed fighting the British in North Africa. Our new neighbors accepted our version of the truth and did not ask many questions. My mother got a job as a secretary while I got work at a local photography studio. We were a happy normal family. No one knew we were Jews. I did not know myself, mother did not tell me. By 1940, the war was in full swing and Hitler's Nuremberg laws were in full effect. Jews banished from many German towns and cities. My little family hid itself among the madness, kept up the charade.

This part you know. What you don't know is this.

I had began dating Hans Bauer, a high ranking member of the Nazi party. He took excellent care of my family. We had more than enough food, thick coats to keep us warm in the winter, soft beds to ensure a good night's sleep. He bought my family a fancy apartment in Munich. For the first time in my life, I had my own room. Starr went to the best school in the city. We did not want for anything. First time in my life, I felt truly safe.

I did not love Hans and I think he knew this. My mother did not like our romance one bit, but she rarely spoke against him. Why would she? He was a Nazi after all.

The following year, at nineteen, I joined the Nazi party. My mother nearly lost her mind over this. I remember walking through the front door, proudly displaying my SS pin. Before I could utter a word, she slapped me so hard that I nearly blacked out.

"You are Jewish, your father is Jewish, what are you doing Greta?" she said in an angry whisper.

I did not want to believe her. After all, we never celebrated Hanukkah, we never went to a Synagogue, we never did anything Jewish. We looked like any other Aryan walking in the streets of Munich. I had wavy blonde hair with green eyes, in a fact many would say I take after my mother.

I pretended the slap did not happen, pretended I never heard my mother's angry words. I did not want to give up my life. I needed my warm coats, my soft bed and a full belly. My family was safe. But still thoughts ate at me. If Hans, our neighbors or any of our friends even suspected us, we would be sent to a camp.

One night, Hans took me to my favorite restaurant in downtown Munich and proposed. I accepted reluctantly, but stalled as much as I could when he pressed for a wedding date. This frustrated him so much that he angrily proclaimed that he knew that my family and I were Jewish, and if I did not marry him soon Starr and my mother would be to sent to Dachau on the next train. I agreed to marry him only if Starr and Helene were allowed to go to America.

He agreed to this.

Then things moved rapidly. Within a month, not only were we married, but my mother and Starr had obtained passports and were living safely in New York City.

I received regular reports and pictures. In the first picture I ever received, they were both smiling. Starr was hugging my mother while pointing at the Statue of Liberty.

Now that Starr and my mother were safe, I tried to find my own way out of Germany. Hans foresaw my intentions and threatened to send me to Dachau and have my mother and Starr killed if I tried to leave the country. So every night I would pray for the war's end with German's defeat.

I stayed with Hans until the end of the war. By the time I made my way to New York, Starr was nine years old. A few months later, I met you.

I have lived with this secret for so long and it has eaten me up inside. I hope that this does not destroy your love for me. I pray you will forgive me.

Sayid, I pray that you do not tell Omar or Starr about this. It may kill them.

Your love always,

Writing Prompt
The topic for this contest is: a deep secret.

A Deep Secret
Contest Winner


Dachau was a Nazi concentration camp during WW2
I got the photo from google images
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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