<<<~~~>>>

In spite of
Age
Time
Distance
I recognize his face immediately:
Square jaw
Cleft chin
Penetrating blue eyes
Forty years ago stare directly at me
Holding me in their grasp:
We are young
We are idealistic
We are naive
We are whatever we hope and dream to be
He is my first love
Days, weeks, months merge together
With only thoughts to be with him
We are inseparable
With him I am willing to
Compromise my principles
Change my religion
Capitulate to his desires
Even so
I see my future intertwined with his
Until
He raises his hand and my world shatters
I speak his name; he does not reply
I question; he is silent
I weep; he laughs
I leave; he does not follow
Why does he not follow?
My world becomes void of
Color
Certainty
Clarity
Still, I keep walking
Hoping beyond reason that he will follow
But he does not follow
Eventually,
I arrive here
Where I am now
Where I have been for years
Where I was always meant to be
Where love, loyalty, and laughter abound
Where hands are used to clasp, comfort, and caress...
I study his face closely now
Forty years have not been kind:
He is weathered
He is balding
He wears a smile of smug satisfaction and certain prosperity
He strikes a public pose of assumed familial harmony
He rests his hand upon another's shoulder now
I remember that hand
Yet
She is smiling
She bears no visible scars
She appears content, perhaps even happy
But
I know his secrets
I know his lies
I know what the camera does not capture
I look away and
I whisper a fervent prayer of unbridled thankfulness that
His hand no longer has any hold over me
But more importantly, I am beyond thankful that
He did not follow...


<<<~~~>>>