Pig's Eye Perrant


Now hear this story of Pig's Eye Perrant,
And a town named with a very diff'rent slant.
Oh, we'd rather forget it, but we can't!

Have you visited a town called Pig's Eye?
It's now known as the city of St. Paul.
Once, a danger to any passers bye
Where a river pirate with strange eyeball
Would terrorize the trav'lers, one and all.

He brewed up bitter batches of his hooch
Sold to Indians and the military.
He offended ladies he'd try to smooch,
'Cause his white-circled eyeball was quite scary,
He never found a woman he could marry.

The Tavern by his cave was just a shack.
Some said that his manners were rather rude.
Several customers never came back
Because his wilderness habits were crude,
And they didn't like the things he pursued.

This bloodthirsty fiend was an evil knave.
He'd come out to pillage river traffic.
Then hide the stolen loot in river cave.
To get just a little more specific,
His impact on settlers was horrific.

A town grew up nearby, named Pig's Eye Landing,
His danger, piggish manners they abhor.
Citizens deplored town's tawdry standing,
Disenchanted by this famous rogue neighbor,
Were moved to lose this threat and his bad liquor.

They gathered up the courage to report.
A delegation trip was quickly planned.
Approaching Colonel Snelling at the fort,
To eliminate Pig's Eye from their land,
They begged the Army leader, "Take a stand!"

A troop of soldiers was quickly dispatched,
In early morning, while the day was young.
From his dark lair, Pig's Eye was quickly snatched,
The soldier's trap had suddenly been sprung.
And since that day, Pig's Eye's song has been sung.

That town was then renamed, after their church.
Its citizens no longer lived in fear.
His name still echoes softly, if you search,
On city dump and bars stools around here,
And after him, they named a Pilsner beer.

So, that's the story of Pig's Eye Perrant,
And town named with a very diff'rent slant.
Oh, we'd rather forget it, but we can't!