Satire Fiction posted August 29, 2012

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duke's advice contest entry

Interview with a Duke

by sweetwoodjax

I have a few questions to ask of John Wayne, aka The Duke. He is one tall drink of water and I'm trembling in my boots at the sight of him. He powers over me and could squish me like a bug if he chooses too.

How would you describe yourself, Mr. Wayne?

"I would say I'm a Quiet Man with True Grit."

What is something most people don't know about you?

"I was asked to play the part of Matt Dillon on Gunsmoke, but I was too big for television. I recommended James Arness for the part and introduced the very first episode."

What did your wife wear to your wedding?

"Which wedding? I've had three of 'em. But each one Wore A Yellow Ribbon."

What do you think of our soldiers?

"All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be someplace else."

I have to disagree with you, Mr. Wayne.

"Girl, you better watch how you speak to me. In my last movie, I shot a man in the back because I never done it before. I also believe in taking disrespectful youngins to the woodshed."

Where would you go if you left Hollywood?

"I would go North to Alaska or head south to The Alamo."

Duke's Advice writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
You are John Wayne AKA Duke and you are giving advice on any subject (clean please) from marriage to politics. Make up your own questions but answer tham as the Duke in full Hollywood character would. Extra challenge; weave in some of his famous lines from various movies. Now go for it "Pilgrim"!

Question: Should a woman have her own career outside the home?

Duke: Sure, as long as she is home in time to make supper!


I used a lot of his movie titles as the answers. The one about the soldiers came from In Harm's Way
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