| Commentary and Philosophy Non-Fiction posted September 20, 2011 |
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Just a short rant about one of life's experiences
What Happened to Common Sense
by bhogg
I love being a grandpa. My only problem is that my kids are scattered from Northern California to spots in Georgia. I live in North Carolina. A partial cure for my grandpa fix is to include the neighbor kids in the count. With this I'm blessed. There are five across the street and three next door, all between five and twelve. My grandkids call me Papa Bill. My neighborhood clan simply calls me Mr. Bill.
Since it was a school day, I was surprised to see one of my favorites outside. It was twelve-year-old Bader. His family is from Jordan. He and his two sisters are all beautiful children, with long dark hair, olive skin and almond eyes. My wife once said that Bader looked like what Omar Shariff wished he looked like as a kid. In other words, he's a cutie.
I called him over, and as he got closer, I could see that his handsomeness was marred by scrapes to his face and a black eye.
"Hey Bader, what's going on buddy? I thought you were in school today."
"Oh, hi, Mr. Bill, it's a school day, but I got suspended."
"Suspended? What in the world did you get suspended for?"
With the question, Bader and I settled down on the front porch. I didn't want to rush him, so just waited for his reply.
Quietly, he announced, "I got suspended for fighting."
I suppose I raised an eyebrow, because I'd never even seen Bader mad. He could get irritated at his sisters, but I'd never seen him mad or cross. "What in the world caused you to get in a fight?"
"Well, these two guys were teasing me on the playground, calling me an 'Ay-rab' and stuff. They can't even pronounce the word right. They've done this before, and my dad said to just laugh at them and feel sorry for their ignorance."
"Your dad is a pretty smart guy. That sounds like good advice to me. Kids make fun of other kids all the time. You can't let that get you upset."
"That's not what upset me." Bader was quiet for a moment before he whispered, "What made me mad is that they called my little sister a whore. That's when I hit the first guy, and then the two guys wrestled me to the ground and beat me up. My mom had to come get me and take me home. I will be on suspension for two weeks. Today is my first day. I think my dad will be really mad when he gets home."
I let this sink in a minute before replying, "I don't think your dad will be upset. I know that the school doesn't allow fighting, but sometimes you have to do things to protect yourself and your family. It sounds like this was one of those times. I guess the other boys were suspended too?"
"No, I don't think so. It was just me."
We chatted for a few minutes and Bader walked home. I know I'm often guilty of mental masturbation, but this really upset me. Just hearing from Bader doesn't mean that I knew all of the facts, but the story as he related it seemed to result in a totally unfair conclusion.
First, the situation smacks of Muslim-Phobia, not only by the students, but perhaps by the school faculty as well. I know the event occurred right after September 11, and perhaps the students had been influenced by some of the media coverage. It's even possible that something their parents said may have had some sway as well.
Bader and his family are Sunni Muslims. I know this because while drinking hot tea with his father, he mentioned it. It's not because they walk around reading the Koran, or wear clothes that identify themselves as Muslim, or do anything else to set them apart. In fact, on my street, they blend right in with the rest of the boring mix; two cars in the garage, a yard that is generally nicely mowed and two cats who like to visit. In short, they are nice neighbors.
I feel patriotic and am proud to be an American. There were some low spots in my day on September 11. Like many, that day has memories for me that are quite unpleasant. Ten years ago, my wife was flying from Atlanta to Tucson when the attack on the twin towers occurred. I glued myself to the television and prayed that she was okay. I didn't know anything about her for six hours. It was a dastardly attack by fanatics who happened to be Muslim. It was not a religious attack by all Muslims.
Another thing that bothered me was the severity of the punishment for Bader. I know schools take positions designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean that common sense gets thrown out the window. I read recently about a student who got sent home for bringing a GI-Joe toy to school. There is a zero tolerance rule for guns, and yep, old GI-Joe was carrying one. It must have been all of three inches long.
I can't help but remember an incident from my own life over fifty years ago. I walked outside the school room at recess and saw a kid on the back of my brother, who was prone on the ground. He was whaling away on my brother. I went over and clobbered the guy with a downed branch from a pecan tree. We were all taken in to see the principal. He calmly listened to the story and then whipped my brother and the other guy with a wooden paddle. He didn't do anything to me. Somehow, it made sense to him for one brother to defend another. I guess that's where I come in with Bader. I don't condone fighting at school, but when a kid tells you your sister is a whore, what's a guy to do? I know what I would have done.
I told my wife about Bader, and she insisted I call the Principal of the school. One of the nice things about living in a small town is that you either know people or know people who know people. I didn't know the Principal, but I did know the Mayor. Of course, he didn't really want to get involved with school policy. Since he didn't, we discussed logic instead. There was a big article in the newspaper about zero tolerance for bullying throughout the school system. My point to the Mayor was that since there were two guys picking on Bader, it sounded like bullying to me. He made the call to the Principal. Bader is still on suspension, but the two weeks was shortened to two days.
I went over to tell Bader the good news. His mother was happy, but I wasn't so sure about Bader. The, "Gee, thanks, Mr. Bill", almost sounded sarcastic. I think the little punk wanted to stay home.
I love being a grandpa. My only problem is that my kids are scattered from Northern California to spots in Georgia. I live in North Carolina. A partial cure for my grandpa fix is to include the neighbor kids in the count. With this I'm blessed. There are five across the street and three next door, all between five and twelve. My grandkids call me Papa Bill. My neighborhood clan simply calls me Mr. Bill.
Since it was a school day, I was surprised to see one of my favorites outside. It was twelve-year-old Bader. His family is from Jordan. He and his two sisters are all beautiful children, with long dark hair, olive skin and almond eyes. My wife once said that Bader looked like what Omar Shariff wished he looked like as a kid. In other words, he's a cutie.
I called him over, and as he got closer, I could see that his handsomeness was marred by scrapes to his face and a black eye.
"Hey Bader, what's going on buddy? I thought you were in school today."
"Oh, hi, Mr. Bill, it's a school day, but I got suspended."
"Suspended? What in the world did you get suspended for?"
With the question, Bader and I settled down on the front porch. I didn't want to rush him, so just waited for his reply.
Quietly, he announced, "I got suspended for fighting."
I suppose I raised an eyebrow, because I'd never even seen Bader mad. He could get irritated at his sisters, but I'd never seen him mad or cross. "What in the world caused you to get in a fight?"
"Well, these two guys were teasing me on the playground, calling me an 'Ay-rab' and stuff. They can't even pronounce the word right. They've done this before, and my dad said to just laugh at them and feel sorry for their ignorance."
"Your dad is a pretty smart guy. That sounds like good advice to me. Kids make fun of other kids all the time. You can't let that get you upset."
"That's not what upset me." Bader was quiet for a moment before he whispered, "What made me mad is that they called my little sister a whore. That's when I hit the first guy, and then the two guys wrestled me to the ground and beat me up. My mom had to come get me and take me home. I will be on suspension for two weeks. Today is my first day. I think my dad will be really mad when he gets home."
I let this sink in a minute before replying, "I don't think your dad will be upset. I know that the school doesn't allow fighting, but sometimes you have to do things to protect yourself and your family. It sounds like this was one of those times. I guess the other boys were suspended too?"
"No, I don't think so. It was just me."
We chatted for a few minutes and Bader walked home. I know I'm often guilty of mental masturbation, but this really upset me. Just hearing from Bader doesn't mean that I knew all of the facts, but the story as he related it seemed to result in a totally unfair conclusion.
First, the situation smacks of Muslim-Phobia, not only by the students, but perhaps by the school faculty as well. I know the event occurred right after September 11, and perhaps the students had been influenced by some of the media coverage. It's even possible that something their parents said may have had some sway as well.
Bader and his family are Sunni Muslims. I know this because while drinking hot tea with his father, he mentioned it. It's not because they walk around reading the Koran, or wear clothes that identify themselves as Muslim, or do anything else to set them apart. In fact, on my street, they blend right in with the rest of the boring mix; two cars in the garage, a yard that is generally nicely mowed and two cats who like to visit. In short, they are nice neighbors.
I feel patriotic and am proud to be an American. There were some low spots in my day on September 11. Like many, that day has memories for me that are quite unpleasant. Ten years ago, my wife was flying from Atlanta to Tucson when the attack on the twin towers occurred. I glued myself to the television and prayed that she was okay. I didn't know anything about her for six hours. It was a dastardly attack by fanatics who happened to be Muslim. It was not a religious attack by all Muslims.
Another thing that bothered me was the severity of the punishment for Bader. I know schools take positions designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean that common sense gets thrown out the window. I read recently about a student who got sent home for bringing a GI-Joe toy to school. There is a zero tolerance rule for guns, and yep, old GI-Joe was carrying one. It must have been all of three inches long.
I can't help but remember an incident from my own life over fifty years ago. I walked outside the school room at recess and saw a kid on the back of my brother, who was prone on the ground. He was whaling away on my brother. I went over and clobbered the guy with a downed branch from a pecan tree. We were all taken in to see the principal. He calmly listened to the story and then whipped my brother and the other guy with a wooden paddle. He didn't do anything to me. Somehow, it made sense to him for one brother to defend another. I guess that's where I come in with Bader. I don't condone fighting at school, but when a kid tells you your sister is a whore, what's a guy to do? I know what I would have done.
I told my wife about Bader, and she insisted I call the Principal of the school. One of the nice things about living in a small town is that you either know people or know people who know people. I didn't know the Principal, but I did know the Mayor. Of course, he didn't really want to get involved with school policy. Since he didn't, we discussed logic instead. There was a big article in the newspaper about zero tolerance for bullying throughout the school system. My point to the Mayor was that since there were two guys picking on Bader, it sounded like bullying to me. He made the call to the Principal. Bader is still on suspension, but the two weeks was shortened to two days.
I went over to tell Bader the good news. His mother was happy, but I wasn't so sure about Bader. The, "Gee, thanks, Mr. Bill", almost sounded sarcastic. I think the little punk wanted to stay home.
Since it was a school day, I was surprised to see one of my favorites outside. It was twelve-year-old Bader. His family is from Jordan. He and his two sisters are all beautiful children, with long dark hair, olive skin and almond eyes. My wife once said that Bader looked like what Omar Shariff wished he looked like as a kid. In other words, he's a cutie.
I called him over, and as he got closer, I could see that his handsomeness was marred by scrapes to his face and a black eye.
"Hey Bader, what's going on buddy? I thought you were in school today."
"Oh, hi, Mr. Bill, it's a school day, but I got suspended."
"Suspended? What in the world did you get suspended for?"
With the question, Bader and I settled down on the front porch. I didn't want to rush him, so just waited for his reply.
Quietly, he announced, "I got suspended for fighting."
I suppose I raised an eyebrow, because I'd never even seen Bader mad. He could get irritated at his sisters, but I'd never seen him mad or cross. "What in the world caused you to get in a fight?"
"Well, these two guys were teasing me on the playground, calling me an 'Ay-rab' and stuff. They can't even pronounce the word right. They've done this before, and my dad said to just laugh at them and feel sorry for their ignorance."
"Your dad is a pretty smart guy. That sounds like good advice to me. Kids make fun of other kids all the time. You can't let that get you upset."
"That's not what upset me." Bader was quiet for a moment before he whispered, "What made me mad is that they called my little sister a whore. That's when I hit the first guy, and then the two guys wrestled me to the ground and beat me up. My mom had to come get me and take me home. I will be on suspension for two weeks. Today is my first day. I think my dad will be really mad when he gets home."
I let this sink in a minute before replying, "I don't think your dad will be upset. I know that the school doesn't allow fighting, but sometimes you have to do things to protect yourself and your family. It sounds like this was one of those times. I guess the other boys were suspended too?"
"No, I don't think so. It was just me."
We chatted for a few minutes and Bader walked home. I know I'm often guilty of mental masturbation, but this really upset me. Just hearing from Bader doesn't mean that I knew all of the facts, but the story as he related it seemed to result in a totally unfair conclusion.
First, the situation smacks of Muslim-Phobia, not only by the students, but perhaps by the school faculty as well. I know the event occurred right after September 11, and perhaps the students had been influenced by some of the media coverage. It's even possible that something their parents said may have had some sway as well.
Bader and his family are Sunni Muslims. I know this because while drinking hot tea with his father, he mentioned it. It's not because they walk around reading the Koran, or wear clothes that identify themselves as Muslim, or do anything else to set them apart. In fact, on my street, they blend right in with the rest of the boring mix; two cars in the garage, a yard that is generally nicely mowed and two cats who like to visit. In short, they are nice neighbors.
I feel patriotic and am proud to be an American. There were some low spots in my day on September 11. Like many, that day has memories for me that are quite unpleasant. Ten years ago, my wife was flying from Atlanta to Tucson when the attack on the twin towers occurred. I glued myself to the television and prayed that she was okay. I didn't know anything about her for six hours. It was a dastardly attack by fanatics who happened to be Muslim. It was not a religious attack by all Muslims.
Another thing that bothered me was the severity of the punishment for Bader. I know schools take positions designed to protect their students. That doesn't mean that common sense gets thrown out the window. I read recently about a student who got sent home for bringing a GI-Joe toy to school. There is a zero tolerance rule for guns, and yep, old GI-Joe was carrying one. It must have been all of three inches long.
I can't help but remember an incident from my own life over fifty years ago. I walked outside the school room at recess and saw a kid on the back of my brother, who was prone on the ground. He was whaling away on my brother. I went over and clobbered the guy with a downed branch from a pecan tree. We were all taken in to see the principal. He calmly listened to the story and then whipped my brother and the other guy with a wooden paddle. He didn't do anything to me. Somehow, it made sense to him for one brother to defend another. I guess that's where I come in with Bader. I don't condone fighting at school, but when a kid tells you your sister is a whore, what's a guy to do? I know what I would have done.
I told my wife about Bader, and she insisted I call the Principal of the school. One of the nice things about living in a small town is that you either know people or know people who know people. I didn't know the Principal, but I did know the Mayor. Of course, he didn't really want to get involved with school policy. Since he didn't, we discussed logic instead. There was a big article in the newspaper about zero tolerance for bullying throughout the school system. My point to the Mayor was that since there were two guys picking on Bader, it sounded like bullying to me. He made the call to the Principal. Bader is still on suspension, but the two weeks was shortened to two days.
I went over to tell Bader the good news. His mother was happy, but I wasn't so sure about Bader. The, "Gee, thanks, Mr. Bill", almost sounded sarcastic. I think the little punk wanted to stay home.
 Recognized |
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Just one of life's experiences that I wanted to vent on.
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