My life was just beginning to rebound. For the last five years, I've been trying to rebuild my self esteem and my finances, after my wife of one year, managed to waste one hundred thousand dollars of my savings, through a rolled up one hundred dollar bill, up her nose.

I was completely unaware of her addiction. She hid it extremely well, until one fine July day we were leaving on a month long trip to Spain. She told me to wait in the lobby of our building for the car service, as she would be down momentarily.

When the car service arrived, I called her cell phone. No answer. I went up to our apartment, finding her on the bathroom floor. She was bleeding from the nose. I noticed a rolled up a hundred dollar bill and a line of white powder, noticing the remnants of four others on the marble counter.

I dialed 911. Paramedics arrived within ten minutes, but they said she was already gone. I was devastated. What the hell happened? Why was she doing drugs?

The doorman called my cell phone to tell me the driver was impatient. When I told him what happened, he retrieved my luggage and paid the driver on my behalf.

The next few months, I learned of my wife's indebtedness. She owed fifty thousand dollars on three credit cards I knew nothing about; besides the one hundred thousand she took from our account.

Emotionally and financially, I was a mess. Distancing myself from the embarrassment, I set out to pay off her debt and to regain my life. It took almost five years.

During that time, I built myself a safe haven. I shielded myself from life and emotions, preferring to lead a Spartan life, devoid of contact with people and relationships, until I met Julie.

Our paths crossed at our attorney's office. I was there to settle a collection issue, while she was there to finalize a bitter divorce. I noticed her waiting in the conference room, while my lawyer negotiated with the collection attorney. I sat there, staring at this incredibly beautiful woman, wondering how anyone would be stupid enough to divorce her.

Excusing myself, I walked into the conference room where she was waiting. I was extremely nervous, and I think it showed.

When she looked toward me, I froze. My mouth didn't function. I just stood there with this stupid look on my face. I could see she was a little uncomfortable with me just standing there, but she remained calm and just smiled. It was all I needed to regain my courage.

"Hi, I'm sorry to intrude, but I've been sitting in the other conference room and couldn't help but notice you've been in here alone for a good twenty minutes."

"It happens every time I come here. My attorney isn't too punctual. I think he's still at lunch."

"That's terrible. Well, what do you say that we make him wait for you? I know this little French Bistro around the corner that serves a killer Coq au Vin for lunch."

"I'm sorry, but I don't even know you."

Totally embarrassed, my face flushed several shades of crimson.

"I'm sorry, I don't ever do this. Seeing a beautiful woman like you alone, waiting, bothered me. Men should be waiting for you, not the other way around."

Realizing I was babbling, the crimson shade grew darker, until I said, "You must think I'm a total idiot. Let me start over. Hi, I'm John Sinclair. I'm sorry if I frightened you. This is so unusual for me to just approach someone. Well, anyway, I hope your attorney arrives soon. Nice to have met you, Ms..."

"Nichols, Julie Nichols."

"Ms. Nichols."

"Does that mean the lunch offer has been withdrawn, because if it hasn't, I'm actually quite hungry."

"Yes, I mean, no, it's not been withdrawn. It would be my pleasure to take you to lunch."

"Okay, just let me freshen up, and I'll meet you back here in ten minutes."

"Wonderful, I'll be waiting."

Julie gave me the warmest smile I've ever received from a woman. In an instant, I took in her beauty. Her flowing chestnut brown, mid back length hair cascaded around her face and down her slender shoulders. Her high arched eyebrows, highlighted her warm, light brown eyes and long, silky lashes. A perfectly formed nose, led my gaze to her sumptuous red lacquered, kissable lips that drew attention to a sexy dark mole about a half-inch from her lip.

I watched as she walked to the ladies room, following her RHT seamed stockings, as her well-formed legs disappeared at the ankles, being encased in five inch, blue Manolo Blahnik heels.

I was speechless.

Remembering her soft, sexy voice as I replayed our conversation in my mind, I shook my head, realizing how stupid I must have sounded. I thanked God for her being kind enough to overlook my nervousness.

I didn't understand what had come over me. One minute I wanted to live the life of a hermit, and the next minute I was asking this goddess to lunch. Whatever it was, I was happy she accepted.

Just as she emerged from the ladies room, my attorney told me to come back into the conference room.

"I'm sorry, Pete, I have other plans. You have my authority to negotiate the best settlement you can."

Bewildered at first, he smiled when he saw Julie take my arm as we walked toward the elevator.

We arrived at Bistro Les Amis, around the corner from the attorney's office on Spring Street in SoHo. I selected an outside table, mostly because I wanted to be seen with this gorgeous woman and to celebrate the beginning of the first summer I'd eaten outdoors, since my wife died.

I took the liberty of ordering a bottle of Veuve Clicquot for us to enjoy during our appetizer.

"John, are you trying to get me drunk? I never have alcohol with lunch."

"I'm sorry, Julie. Forgive me. I just felt like celebrating. It's been quite a long time since I've eaten with someone, let alone a beautiful woman, that I felt like splurging. Tell me what you'd rather have and I'll gladly order it for you."

The bottle arrived, just as I finished saying that.

"Thank you for the complement. Perhaps a celebration is in order. My divorce should be final today, anyway. So, on second thought, I'd love to share a toast with you."

"To life, and the wonderful people you meet along the way."

"I like that, John. To life."

As we dined on Duck Terrine, Mussels Marinieres, and Coq au Vin, we discovered a lot of similar interests. We were both avid Yankee fans, enjoyed the theatre and Central Park, wine and Lincoln Center.

The time flew by. Without realizing it, we had spent three hours talking. Reluctantly, I paid the bill, not wanting our time together to end.

Julie sensed something was wrong. "John, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little sad."

"Sad, why?"

"Knowing that I'll probably never see you again. I really enjoy your company."

"And I yours. Wait, you did say you liked the Yankees, right?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with seeing you again?"

"I got the Yankee season tickets in the divorce settlement. There's a game on Friday, if you're available."

"I'll make sure I am. That would be great."

Julie's sensual smile captured my heart. She was such a wonderful lady. I really enjoyed being with her. It felt like the void in my life never existed when I looked into her smiling eyes.

She decided to call her attorney, rather than go back to his office, so I put her in a taxi at the restaurant, got her phone number and waved as she drove off to the Upper East Side.

Our Yankee game date was fantastic. I don't even know who won, being too busy just enjoying her company. Within two weeks, we were virtually inseparable. The relationship we shared was unlike any other I'd been in. It was very deep, almost to the point of being spiritual. While we enjoyed each other's intellect, humor and bodies, the bond we created was stronger than any I'd previously encountered and I quickly found myself falling in love with her.

We went to every Yankee home game, enjoyed weekends in the Hamptons, and enjoyed picnics in Central Park. Our summer was better than I ever dreamed possible. I felt invincible when I was with Julie. I thought about her every minute of every day. Nothing could ruin my day. I was the happiest guy on earth, until my cell phone rang the day before I was bringing Julie to meet my Mom in San Diego.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Sinclair?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"Sergeant Nunez, NYPD, 19th Precinct. Mr. Sinclair, do you know a Julie Nichols?"

"Yes, she's my girlfriend. Why are you calling me? Did something happen to her?"

"Mr. Sinclair, she was involved in an accident. I'm sorry sir, but she didn't make it. The bus ran the light and hit her when she was crossing 59th Street by the Park."

My world exploded. I couldn't speak, hear, or react. I stood in my apartment. She was supposed to be here in ten minutes. I'd just taken the lasagna that I made for her out of the oven, opened the wine, and was waiting to kiss those pouty lips.

When I didn't answer, the Sergeant got concerned. "Mr. Sinclair, are you okay?"

His voice brought me back to the phone.

"No, you just told me the woman I love is dead. I need to see her."

"That's not a good idea, sir. You don't want to remember her this way."

"How did you find me?"

"From her cell phone. I searched the address book and found an entry called, 'My Love', so I dialed it."

"She was supposed to be here in ten minutes. I made dinner for her."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair. She was carrying a note in her hand when she was struck. She held on tightly to it. Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Yes, please, Sergeant."

"It says:

Dear John,

Although we've only known each other for four months, I feel as though you and I were destined to be together. I've not known this kind of happiness, nor a kinder, gentler man than you. While you always tell me you are the lucky one, I have to disagree.

You've captured my heart and soul and I can't think of life without you. So, if you're as open-minded as I think you are, I would like to be unconventional and ask you something I would never ask another man.

Will you marry me?

Yours for eternity,

Julie"

I fell to the floor, my heart and spirit broken, forever.