I awoke at 3:00 a.m. this morning, to what I thought was a dream. The first thing I saw was a sexy white haired vixen with wings, wearing a bustier, a white thong, and white bandages on her legs, made to resemble stockings; covering the bottoms of her feet.

She had on long white gloves to her mid bicep muscle, dark pink lipstick and was holding a light staff. She just stared at me as a raven crossed the shadow of the moon.

I stared back at her for what seemed like an eternity, thinking she was a total goddess, until she finally spoke.

"You have forty eight hours to get your affairs in order. The day after tomorrow, you become my student. I will teach you how to live without greed, sex, and wanton disregard for others."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes. Even attorneys sometimes get a second chance to atone for their sins. Your wealth could change the fate of millions of Americans. It's my job to show you what could be, then, it's up to you to decide your own fate."

"Suppose I don't give a damn about millions of Americans"

"Then, I'm afraid, you will be dealt with like the others. Either you'll go straight to Hell, or you'll be taken to repent. You do know where most of your peers have been taken, don't you?"

"No, where?"

"To the conversion center."

"What's that?"

"It's a very hot, dark place. Less than one percent of those sent there ever return. So it's your choice, Mr. Thornton. What do you want your legacy to be?"

"Wait a minute. Are you for real?"

I got up and walked over to this vision, inappropriately touching a very ample, dense breast.

"Wait, I can feel you."

"Sexual assault is not winning you any points, Mr. Thornton. So tell me, are you going to cooperate in the program, or am I wasting my time?"

"I think I could be motivated to cooperate with you, that is, if you would be willing to cooperate with my...um, needs."

"Peter, I can't do this. All this dirt bag wants to do is shag me. I didn't sign up for this. I'm requesting reassignment now, I don't care if it takes me another hundred years to get my promotion, I don't trust this scum bag."

"Did you just call me a scum bag?"

"Yup, why, are you trying to say you're not?"

"I take offense to that."

"I take offense to you groping my breast, scum bag."

"Lilla, I'm releasing you from this assignment. Obviously, Mr. Thornton needs more dicipline."

"Thank you, Peter. I need a shower. This guy repulses me, and he groped my breast."

"Okay, Lilla, you are cleared to return to heaven for cleansing."

"Thank you."

When she was gone. Saint Peter spoke directly to Mr. Thornton.

"You didn't handle that well, Thornton. Here I give you one of my most productive angels and you assault her. What's your problem?"

"I....um, who am I speaking to?"

"Oh brother, you're not only a sex offender, you're also stupid. I'm Saint Peter, you know, the keeper of the gate, the guy you have to impress, before I let you into heaven."

"Heaven, are you kidding, I always expected to be in the tropics, if you know what I mean."

"I know exactly what you mean, and you may very well get your wish. We were trying to offer you a much more palatable alternative. You've done so much wrong in your life that the Chief wanted to give you an opportunity to make it right. He felt since you screwed so many people out of their life's savings, if you helped people with your ill gotten fortune, he would reconsider your fate."

"He did, did he?"

"Yes. You should consider yourself lucky, Thornton. This opportunity doesn't present itself often."

"It sounds too easy. Don't mind me, my years as an attorney lend me to believe all people are evil. This God guy, what makes him so different? How can I trust him?"

"You have to believe."

"Look Pete, no disrespect, but I don't trust nobody."

"That's unfortunate Thornton. You could do a lot of good with the four billion you stole from investors."

"Whoa, whoa. You got proof of that allegation, big guy?"

"Yes, down to the individual transaction, actually."

"Ooh, well, okay. Perhaps we can strike a deal then. The hot angel chick has to be part of the transaction, though. She has a great ass."

"Mr. Thornton, you're in no position to negotiate."

"I'm a lawyer, that's what I do."

"No, actually, you're dead. We're just altering your will, is all."

"So it's true. The church is all about money."

"Mr. Thornton, we want you to do the right thing. If you don't, well, you have to live with your consequences for all eternity."

"And if I give you the money?"

"Then you will live in eternal life, unencumbered by the physical world."

"No chicks?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"Forget it, Pete. Operator, get me Lucifer. I know that bastard will strike a deal."