| General Fiction posted January 8, 2010 |
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How some Entrepenauers are remembered.....
Here's to You, Frankie
by Begin Again
Frank Donald Lucian (Alias - Don Dem "Lead Boots"), 77
Benefactor to Many Local Business Entrepreneurs
Father to Many (legal and not-so-legal)
Loyal Friend to Few (who wish to remain nameless)
F.D, Luciano was pronounced legally dead on January 7, 2010 (actual date of death unknown) by the Whipton County Coroner after United Housing Construction Union workers, repairing a recently poured foundation, discovered a shoe protruding from a large concrete slab. The official cause of death is listed as accidental by the coroner's office. Tony "Three Fingers" and Mike "The Hammer" have verified the findings.
The 2009 Guinness Book of Records regretfully will not be able to officially record "Lead Boots" as having surpassed the "nine" lives of a cat due to conflicting records. Two official birth certificates exist in Naples Hall of Records. His birth date was either March 17, 1932, (The Luck of the Irish) or December 25, 1931, (remembered as "The Birth of Our Father"). No living relative has ever disputed either date.
Born on the isle of Sicily, off the coast of Italy, and schooled in Naples. Educated in several Ivy League schools including Ace Sharp-Shooting, Aptitude in Numbers and the Bottom Line, Laundering The Right Way, The Fine Art of Cement, and Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". He, also, attended Dale Carnegie's "The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking", but personally discovered actions speak louder than words.
The Luciano Family immigrated to the United States of America, passing through the hallowed walls of Ellis Island, believing the Statue of Liberty welcomed them with open arms.
With the close financial assistance of the Cosa Nostra Family in Italy, Luciano was able to fund several thriving businesses in their newfound homeland. Once established, he felt compelled to share his experience with struggling small businesses and soon established a network in all the major cities, including Laundries, Gaming Facilities, Drugs for the Poor and Weak, and Pleasures Anonymous.
Married Susan Postman, the debutante daughter of Senator Postman and Washington's socialite Mary Corleone Postman on February 14, 1974. His father-in-law's introduction to numerous government contractors and other questionable committees opened the doors for his expansion in the construction field. He was responsible for the development of hundreds of skyscrapers, which are currently under investigation for shoddy workmanship. Obtaining a $30 million dollar contract from Washington to beautify an abandoned strip of desert, he provided numerous sub-contractors with financial aid to build a six-lane highway to nowhere, revitalize a defunct 1847 mining town, and establish a 300-acre oasis with no apparent access.
As an active member of St. Peter's Cathedral, he donated $5,000 weekly to the "Homeless Fund" and $5,000 weekly to the "Bereaved Widows' Fund". For his selfless contributions, he was granted the right of communion.
President of the Construction Union and Founding Father of Support the Family, he constantly recruited newly arriving immigrants and other struggling small businesses to seek shelter within his organization.
Predeceased by several dear and close family members including George "Machine Gun" Kelly, Lester "Baby Face" Nelson, Thomas "Butterfingers" Moran, Israel "Icepick Willie" Alderman, Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd, and Charlie "Lucky" Luciano.
All living family members have requested to remain anonymous.
A High Mass will be held at St. Peter's Cathedral on Monday, January 11, 2010. In recognition of the recent $1,000,000 contribution to St. Peter's Hospital Building Fund, Sister Mary Francis and the Order of Franciscan Sisters will graciously attend the mass, providing prayers and hymns.
Due to the circumstances surrounding his death, it will be a closed casket ceremony. All attending will be required to deposit any and all weapons in a holding area hastily constructed in the church parking lot. Bulletproof armored cars will be provided for the procession.
Official Pallbearers will include Jimmy "The Weasel" Panini, Tony "Big Tuna" Salamone, Vincent "The Fish" Frisella, Joey, "Knee Cap" Santorielle, Jimmy "The Chop" Marinelli, and Carmine "The Doctor" Lombardo. Each has graciously accepted the honor and a gift of $50,000.
A graveside ceremony will take place at Calvary Cemetery. The family has generously contributed $1,500,000 to the construction fund for a new mausoleum. For safety concerns, the official graveside ceremonies will be private and the location will remain confidential.
In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Secret Society of Sicilians and Paddock's Home for Wayward Dogs in memory of Frank's constant and loyal companion, his golden retriever, Paddock.
Obituary provided and paid for by the Italian government.
For online condolences, please visit www.Dondemleadboots.com and please no derogatory remarks.
May Frankie's body rest in pieces ... (correction - rest in peace).
Funny Obituary writing prompt entry
Frank Donald Lucian (Alias - Don Dem "Lead Boots"), 77
Benefactor to Many Local Business Entrepreneurs
Father to Many (legal and not-so-legal)
Loyal Friend to Few (who wish to remain nameless)
F.D, Luciano was pronounced legally dead on January 7, 2010 (actual date of death unknown) by the Whipton County Coroner after United Housing Construction Union workers, repairing a recently poured foundation, discovered a shoe protruding from a large concrete slab. The official cause of death is listed as accidental by the coroner's office. Tony "Three Fingers" and Mike "The Hammer" have verified the findings.
The 2009 Guinness Book of Records regretfully will not be able to officially record "Lead Boots" as having surpassed the "nine" lives of a cat due to conflicting records. Two official birth certificates exist in Naples Hall of Records. His birth date was either March 17, 1932, (The Luck of the Irish) or December 25, 1931, (remembered as "The Birth of Our Father"). No living relative has ever disputed either date.
Born on the isle of Sicily, off the coast of Italy, and schooled in Naples. Educated in several Ivy League schools including Ace Sharp-Shooting, Aptitude in Numbers and the Bottom Line, Laundering The Right Way, The Fine Art of Cement, and Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". He, also, attended Dale Carnegie's "The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking", but personally discovered actions speak louder than words.
The Luciano Family immigrated to the United States of America, passing through the hallowed walls of Ellis Island, believing the Statue of Liberty welcomed them with open arms.
With the close financial assistance of the Cosa Nostra Family in Italy, Luciano was able to fund several thriving businesses in their newfound homeland. Once established, he felt compelled to share his experience with struggling small businesses and soon established a network in all the major cities, including Laundries, Gaming Facilities, Drugs for the Poor and Weak, and Pleasures Anonymous.
Married Susan Postman, the debutante daughter of Senator Postman and Washington's socialite Mary Corleone Postman on February 14, 1974. His father-in-law's introduction to numerous government contractors and other questionable committees opened the doors for his expansion in the construction field. He was responsible for the development of hundreds of skyscrapers, which are currently under investigation for shoddy workmanship. Obtaining a $30 million dollar contract from Washington to beautify an abandoned strip of desert, he provided numerous sub-contractors with financial aid to build a six-lane highway to nowhere, revitalize a defunct 1847 mining town, and establish a 300-acre oasis with no apparent access.
As an active member of St. Peter's Cathedral, he donated $5,000 weekly to the "Homeless Fund" and $5,000 weekly to the "Bereaved Widows' Fund". For his selfless contributions, he was granted the right of communion.
President of the Construction Union and Founding Father of Support the Family, he constantly recruited newly arriving immigrants and other struggling small businesses to seek shelter within his organization.
Predeceased by several dear and close family members including George "Machine Gun" Kelly, Lester "Baby Face" Nelson, Thomas "Butterfingers" Moran, Israel "Icepick Willie" Alderman, Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd, and Charlie "Lucky" Luciano.
All living family members have requested to remain anonymous.
A High Mass will be held at St. Peter's Cathedral on Monday, January 11, 2010. In recognition of the recent $1,000,000 contribution to St. Peter's Hospital Building Fund, Sister Mary Francis and the Order of Franciscan Sisters will graciously attend the mass, providing prayers and hymns.
Due to the circumstances surrounding his death, it will be a closed casket ceremony. All attending will be required to deposit any and all weapons in a holding area hastily constructed in the church parking lot. Bulletproof armored cars will be provided for the procession.
Official Pallbearers will include Jimmy "The Weasel" Panini, Tony "Big Tuna" Salamone, Vincent "The Fish" Frisella, Joey, "Knee Cap" Santorielle, Jimmy "The Chop" Marinelli, and Carmine "The Doctor" Lombardo. Each has graciously accepted the honor and a gift of $50,000.
A graveside ceremony will take place at Calvary Cemetery. The family has generously contributed $1,500,000 to the construction fund for a new mausoleum. For safety concerns, the official graveside ceremonies will be private and the location will remain confidential.
In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Secret Society of Sicilians and Paddock's Home for Wayward Dogs in memory of Frank's constant and loyal companion, his golden retriever, Paddock.
Obituary provided and paid for by the Italian government.
For online condolences, please visit www.Dondemleadboots.com and please no derogatory remarks.
May Frankie's body rest in pieces ... (correction - rest in peace).
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Writing Prompt Write a humerous obituary for someone you don't like. Fictional characters only, please. Lets not write anything about our mothers-in-law. If you do write about your mother-in-law at least don't let her read it. |
 Recognized |
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