By Anio
The sparkling shore
The sand so bright
Crystals glinting in the light.
These things she saw as she set off
Once more along another path.
One breath,
One step,
One moment,
Is all that she can do,
As weighted down by morning dew,
Her silken garments gleaming bright,
The glorious robe defying night.
So she marched on with all her might,
The hems now dragging in the mud,
Sounds of squelching -
Imminent flood
Of tears of lifetimes
Sting her eyes.
Journeys, journeys -
Endless ties.
She gathers strength as she walks on,
She prays to God and blesses the Sun.
As night draws in she takes deep breath
And knows not whether to ask for death.
" Take heart,"
She hears a voice within her say,
" The battle is fought
Only by day."
| Author Notes | I 'wrote' as therapy for deep depression. I found myself writing as though I was making a Journey and I started to mark these entries in my journal as 'Journey of the New Age Goddess'. They mark my travel through a hard time in my life and I've decided to make a collection of them as I find them amongst my papers and 'tidy' them up. |
By Anio
Brightly they said,
"Give us you child,
She's ours,
And you know it,
That's how the thread ties."
I looked at my child
As she sat next to me,
Her face pure and bright,
'Twas just
Light
Shone from her.
"She's mine,"
I replied.
"She's mine,"
Said she.
And we held hands together,
My child and me.
I watched as their faces
Slowly changed with their rage.
Darkness flowed flowed e'er them -
Heads turned into skulls -
Red light gleamed from eye-sockets -
Sending shivers,
Even through bones.
Mouths dripped with saliva
That swung just like snot
From teeth that now looked
Like ages of rot.
My child and I ran -
Faster and faster,
But behind us they came.
Screeching and calling,
"Give her to USSSS!"
As the clambered and pounded
Through pathways and dust.
"Run faster!" I cried
To my child as she gasped.
"I cannot,"
Her eyes pleaded,
"I'm worn out,
I can't."
"It's alright,"
I told her,
"I'll help you, you'll see."
I put her inside me -
Deep deep in my Soul,
Where no one can see.
So I ran faster,
But still I could hear,
The Blundering,
The howling,
And of course my own
Fear.
Then there right before me,
The river gleamed bright,
The boat and the boatman
Waiting for flight.
I paid him his money,
He took us aboard,
He took us to safety,
Oh thank you my Lord.
| Author Notes |
Never underestimate that your inner child is always within you. There are those who will, if you are unlucky, seek to abuse and torment that part of your psyche. Who will use that part of you to gain power and dominance over you in all kinds of relationships. Abuse has a hundred faces. Infantilisation is one. If you find yourself as an adult always playing almost a 'childlike' role with your parner, friends or even children - doing what they want, being spoken to like you are a child, even called childish names - you find you 'live alone', in your kitchen in your shed, with your friends, at the pub, in the garden and so on. Then of course there's the Hard Abuse where your helpless child is told what, when and how to do everything, what to wear, who to speak to, who to look at, what time to be home - and any tiny wrongdoing is PUNISHED - VIOLENTLY - or cancerously eating away at your brain - or twisting and turning your reality into some monstrous fog that drives you insane.
In all of these relationships the 'other' has captured your INNER CHILD. You have to grow up, take charge, bring your child home, say "Don't you DARE treat my child like that!". It's a long hard journey.....but it can be done. |
By Anio
With long long strides she paced the room,
Her face now dark,
So dark with gloom.
Swirling full circle at each wall,
Bracing herself -
So she'd not fall.
Robes swishing, flowing!
Embroidery and jewels flashing!
Fierce fire
In the hearth!
Droplets of sweat glinting -
Hair wet with agitation sticking
Upon her head.
Knuckles white
As she clutched
Her sword.
" I've struggled with shadows my own and others,
Dug deep in the wells of knowledge and magic,
I've looked in mirrors, shunning none,
I've fought and struck at spectres in the mists -
And still they come!
Dear God Release me!
Take me Home!
I know no longer for what I fight
In this monstrous endless night! "
| Author Notes | The New Age Goddess faces the Night and the Terrors it brings. |
By Anio
She set out to walk
With the Dark Ones
Again.
The moon stroked her pale face,
Glistened and shone
Like the stars in the night sky
On the gems on her robe as it
Swished as she walked.
Then into the darkness,
Boldly she strode,
Feeling beneath her,
The disgusting, dark road.
It had to be travelled,
For so it was said,
In the threads of her story,
The Lessons were laid.
The moon trickled
Spots of bright light
On the gloom,
Plants hanging like ropes,
Air heavy with
Doom,
Whispering, screeching, hissing,
Then soon,
Came the cackling words,
"She's coming, she's coming -
Let's get her -
SHE'S OURS!!!"
She gripped her sword gently,
Belying her Strength.
Out of the Dark
He appeared,
Stealing all moonlight -
Flicking back his gorgeous head.
"My Queen has arrived,"
He smiled right deep AT her.
His face so enchanting,
He embraced
Til it hurt.
Come bed me my darling,"
His eyes hypnotizing,
Her body a'dancing in places unknown.
"You're small as a bird
And more beautiful too,
I shall lick you and kiss you,
Until you are mine,"
He whispered as he stroked
And caressed and he spoke
And she moaned and he
Stroked and provoked
And provoked.
Eyes OPENED
In fright
As hands held her throat tight,
"I could kill you,"
He snarled,
As he sucked on her brain,
Then tore out her heart,
And broke it in two,
"One piece for me,
One piece for you."
"Now get out you slut.
Now I own you.
Please come back again,
We've more things to do."
She pulled on her gown, now splattered with blood,
And covered it o'er
With her robe now dragging in mud.
She picked up her sword and left the sad scene.
"My heart will recover,
This much is True."
She limped to the Sunrise,
And down the Light shone,
Once again she'd defied them,
Once again she Lived on.
| Author Notes | All life's experiences, I believe, happen for a reason. I have been very sceptical about this statement until Quite Recently (QR). It's only QR that I have the ability to 'see' the bigger picture, as they say. And for what its worth I no longer cry when I tell my stories :) |
By Anio
"The battlements have been breached!"
The cry rang through her head
And shuddered the bones of her body
And ripped through her Soul
Where it danced a dance of
Dread.
She cannot flee -
They have invaded
Through the tiniest and
Most
Ancient
Little chink -
A chink in her armour?
A chink in her mind?
A chink where she most dreads it
One that lies
Inside her
Where she thought it
Truly
Hid?
Yes -
That's where they have slithered
Right into her Soul,
Awakened Fright into
Panic
That for ages past has been
Denied its toll.
Now is no time for
Praying -
Nor for time upon her knees -
Nor for burning sweet smelling incense
To put her mind
At ease.
Now's the time for
Fighting -
So now she draws her
Sword -
She wields it with its
Power -
Until it wields her with its
Need.
Slash! - that's it!
Cut and thrust,
See blood gush like fountains
From headless necks and torsos -
Watch men fall over staring,
Amaz -ed at their deaths
As she pulls the blade
Quite swiftly right out from their own necks.
This is the time when
Prayers don't work,
These beasts just rage on about their filthy work.
When all is done
It's time to go and find the place -
That tiny little shiny chink
That let
Evil
In -
Oh what disgrace.
By Anio
She scratched and scrambled
Looking for it.
In the dirt.
In the trees.
In the nests of pigeons, tits
And pee-wees.
She climbed mountains on her knees.
Blood and pus oozed
From untended wounds
As she sat in caves
Wondering
Pondering,
Where it could be?
Then fever took her brain
And laid it low,
Hammering it without mercy on the forge of death.
Strange grunts and moans slid down her ears,
From the same source great globs of spit fell
On her arms and from there to the unyielding
Stone of the floor of the cave, now slippery with God knew
What other mess her body had spilled in this face off with Death.
She opened her eyes and swallowed air,
Sweet, cool air, down into her lungs.
Her body trembled as she tried to sit,
And only managed a little bit.
Through the mouth of the cave
She saw rolling pastures
Of a lovely land,
Where rainbows arched across the sky,
And creatures with golden wings
Above this firmament did fly.
The hardened pus on her limbs was black,
And sweat had dried and stuck her robes firmly to her back.
On hands and knees she pulled her fragile frame toward the mouth,
Bare rock ripping scabs from knees leaving a trail of glistening red.
Glimpses of sparkling gold flew past,
As she pushed forth -
Searching for it.
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